Friday, May 4, 2018

2 weeks, 6 days and 18 hours

They say it takes three weeks to form a habit. I was 2 weeks, 6 days and 18 hours into forming a new habit. All it took was a restless night and one (okay, probably at least thirty) potato chips and I broke the habit I was working so hard to maintain.

It sounds simple. I just wanted to stop snacking after supper.

The first few days were the worst. I then discovered falling asleep early helped me past the most challenging hours. I was starting to feel as though I may have this thing licked. I was hours away from completing my challenge of "the first three weeks" into my new non-snacking-after-supper routine.

I often nod off to sleep, only to awaken and feel fully alert for about 93 seconds and fall back into another deep slumber. This cycle of sleep and wakefulness is not new. I have become quite accustomed to it and manage it very well (Netflix accommodates my need to watch something I'm interested in, in order to fall back to sleep).

One night (2 weeks, 6 days and 18 hours into my new no snacking after supper habit), I was going through my regular habit of sleeping, waking, sleeping and waking. Then the phone rang. It was 9:38 p.m., which is also apparently the point of no return when it comes to falling back to sleep.

It was my boss, telling me not to bother coming to work the next morning. They would be having a fire drill in her apartment and the whole process could take a few hours. We would aim for a 1:00 p.m. start time instead ...

After tossing and turning for quite some time after this phone call, I could not shift my attention off the can of Pringles, minding their own business in my closet. The episode of "How I Met Your Mother" did not supercede my interest on those chips.

All I could think of was those chips. Chips. Chips. Chips. Mmmm. Chips. Chips. CHIPS!!!

I gave up. I tried to convince myself that eating in the middle of the night didn't count against my proven track record of 2 weeks, 6 days and 18 hours of not eating after supper.

I showed great restraint. I only ate about a third of the can. Maybe a half. It was dark. I don't know for sure. I simply know I left quite a few in the can.

I woke the next morning and told myself over and over and over again. One time does not a habit break. Just start anew. Carry on from where you left off. You did this for 2 weeks, 6 days and 18 hours. You can do it again. Forgive yourself. Move on. Don't quit!!

Then I worked in the yard for four hours that day. I forgot to eat lunch. I came home from work and I felt like snacking. I knew there was that half a can of opened Pringles. "It's okay. You worked for this. You burned extra calories today. Eat the chips. Go ahead ..."

And I did.

Then came another restless night. We are solving math puzzles at work and I had to leave a job half finished. Again. I woke up and all I could see was spreadsheets, numbers, solutions and problem solving whirling around in my head. Over and over and over. No amount of "How I Met Your Mother" episodes could take my mind off the work I left behind yesterday.

So I did what any rational humanoid who is trying to avoid after supper snacking would do. I opened another can of chips.

I didn't even bother getting out of bed this time. Jet was already cat napping in my favorite TV watching spot on the couch beside me, so I simply plumped my pillows, rolled over my portable end table so it was beside me. And I ate.

And I ate. And I ate. And I ate. I'm pretty sure the Pringles can is no more than a third full this morning. Maybe only a quarter.

Rats!! I thought I had this thing. But I do believe I am back at square one again.

Why do I still have chips in the house you ask? When Mom stopped smoking, she kept a half a pack of cigarettes in the house. She had will power like no one I know. Her thinking may (???) have been "I will never BUY another pack of cigarettes again". She never did. She stopped smoking on January 18, 2003 and never smoked again. We smiled when we came upon her opened package of cigarettes after she died...

Maybe I should leave that opened can of Pringles in my closet. Quietly circle a date on my calendar and bring no attention to it other than an unmarked circle on the calendar.

Perhaps the greatest incentive to not smoke again, was knowing how stale those cigarettes would have been, had Mom decided to light one up after their "best before" date. Mom obviously surpassed the "three week" mark.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Maybe I'll try again. Maybe I won't. But if I can make it past the 2 weeks, 6 days and 18 hours mark, it is my hope that a stale bag of chips will be my salvation.

Except, I did not promise to quit eating chips. I simply wanted to break the habit of eating after supper. Thus, the reason I still sleep with chips in my room. Now maybe THAT is the habit I should work on breaking ... removing temptation from my bedroom closet (my kids honestly thought it was normal to hide store snacks in my room and were amazed when the snacking foods "came out of the closet" and into the open).

The opened can of chips I left on the kitchen counter mysteriously disappeared one day. Maybe SHARING my Pringles is the way to go. If one cannot succeed at complete abstinence, perhaps moderation is worth a shot?

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