Saturday, October 1, 2016

The Quiet is Coming

It isn't really going to hit home until I start living through next week, but this is "it". This is the beginning of my time of great quiet. I sat still for a moment just now and heard all the ideas that have been popping into my head lately and I think I just may sound like a raving lunatic. Maybe I am. Maybe this is why my life has headed in this quiet direction. I just need to be calm, quiet, settle into this and see where things go from here.

The wind up of yesterday, my last day with three of my four daycare family was pretty anticlimactic. Thankfully we were all on our pretty good behaviour and we spent the day in a light and easy manner, doing some of our favorite things. When we got home from our morning adventure, everyone slept. Everyone. Even my little 3 year old girl who has been fighting nap time since she was a year old slept (she napped three times this week). We barely finished our snacks and parents arrived to pick up their children. We said our good-byes amid our plans to keep in touch, gave our mutual thank you's, wished each other the best and the door closed on that era of our lives together.

All I was left with was the remnants of a daycare to deal with and my work day was done. It took what remained of the evening, but I have dismantled all that I have erected and revised since my newest 1 year old joined our midst and I was spent. I was done. I was so done...

Jet thought he found himself a new cat bed when I set up this playpen in the middle of the living room so I could clean it up before selling it.

I woke up this morning to a clean slate. I don't have to work today and the hard work is behind me. All that is left to be done is to deal with (aka: sell) the excess and continue to wade through all I have collected within this house of ours over the course of the past few decades. I think I'll stick to the accumulation of daycare wares for the moment. It is enough for now.

I wandered through the kitchen this morning and mused over the idea that I will have the ability to wash the kitchen floor after a meal once again. Back in Daycare 1.0, I quite often not only swept but washed the floor after lunch. What a difference a generation makes! I have barely had time to sweep the floor more than once a week. I cannot even remember the last time the entire floor was washed down at once.

I sat down in the living room and marvelled at our new reality. Our house looks like I'm on holidays - NOT running a full on daycare. Yes, I still have a huge "ball house" set up in the living room. That house gets more play time than any other toy I own. It will remain a fixture in the living room until my daycare days are done. It is too big to get out the door, so it will have to be dismantled. Unless I decide to leave it set up for Jet.

Jet loves "all things daycare" - kids and toys included. He is going to be sooooo bored when our house becomes too quiet. I'm considering getting him a kitten.

The kids and I went for a walk to the pet store yesterday as part of our outing. We found a cat. I want him so badly. I know it is insane to think this way but I am having a hard time talking myself out of it. So far, so good. But I would just like to borrow him for a few days, to see how he would fit in our world. Exit "Daycare Lady" and in comes "Crazy Cat Lady". 

This is "Jax". He is up for adoption (for the cost of a donation!) at our friendly neighborhood pet store. He LOVES kids, is so playful, cuddly and he purrs. At least when he is meeting someone who has the potential to spring him from his cage.

It has not yet sunk in that I do not have to hoard the quiet and my energy quite yet. I have been given the gift of a two day weekend at the onset of my life as a daycare provider for "one" child. That is barely even a job. Yet I have this overwhelming feeling of needing to hold onto this moment tightly and not let it go. 

I'm ready for the quiet. I really am. I just have to trust that the serenity of the moment is going to last for as long as I need it.

This is the moment I'm in right now. I hope it's here to stay (or SHOULD we adopt another cat??)

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