Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Faith

Faith in a power greater than myself has been a part of who I am and what I believe ever since Alanon introduced that phrase into my life.

When life becomes to big and too great and too tall, sometimes one simply has to surrender. Let the chips fall as them may, stand out of the way and work with what you find left at the end of it all.

I have wanted to believe in a God but I haven't been able to commit to that idea. So I believe in a "power greater than me". I believe it will all work out in the end. I believe in what I cannot see because I simply trust that life will unfold in a manner in which it was meant to be. I believe I will be strong enough to handle what I have been given.

I have been knocked down to my knees at times and instinctively I look up and say "Help me" to an unknown force above. 

I don't have a tangible belief system but I have faith. 

I listen to those who are strong in their belief and I incorporate their words into what I feel. I believe everyone has to find what they believe in. We are unique in the ways we interpret the world and why bad things happen to good people and all of life's injustices.

My mind is open and my faith is undefined but I feel strong in my own personal convictions.

When life hands a person a very difficult hand and they turn to faith and become the absolute best Christian, wife, mother, friend, person they can be, I can only hope that their faith and their God is strong and capable enough to hold onto them and guide them through the darkest of times.

When a death is tragic, sudden and one may always wonder if it could have been prevented, I hope there is a God to pick up where a parent has left off. I hope that God comes to those who are mourning and as He wraps his arms around them, whispers in their ear "I've got him now. He is safe in my arms. I could not have chosen a better parent for him than I found in you. He was safe in your arms on earth. I've got him now ..."

There has been a tragic loss within our family. This family has great faith and that is absolutely the only consolation I can find in my mind. No human being is strong enough to carry the sorrow, the loss, the pain of a parent who has lost a child. Knowing this family has a strong faith to carry them through these dark days is a small consolation. But it is better than nothing.

There are no words, no answers, and it feels dark and heavy. Having faith in a power greater than yourself to carry you through the unthinkable, a loving and supportive family and community are only a few small gifts one can hope to find at a time like this. 

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