Friday, June 22, 2012

To Award or Not to Award ...

In this world of political correctness and success at all costs, have celebration ceremonies lost their lustre?

The Grade 8 Graduation Ceremony has been genetically altered to a Grade 8 Farewell. Students are acknowledged for 'putting in their time' at elementary school in lieu of graduating.

School is geared for success these days. I agree with the concept. But when students that are struggling with the academics of learning are moved through their education according to their age instead of their abilities ... is this a good thing?

I agree that the social aspect of moving along with your peers is something that bears consideration. But should it be a blanket decision for all students? Shouldn't each student and situation be based on individual needs and what is in the best interest for that student?

I attended my Youngest Son's Grade 8 Farewell ceremony last night. I have done this twice before when my Oldest Sons graduated (yes, they used the word 'graduate' in those days) from the elementary school system and onto high school. Each of these ceremonies struck an emotional chord within me.

Perhaps it was because each of my sons had challenges in their elementary years and due to circumstances beyond their control, they struggled.

My Oldest repeated the second grade and he went through his entire school life saying "I'm in Grade __ ... but I should be in Grade __ (the grade above)". I am certain that he could tell you all of the reasons that it is important (socially) to move along with your peers. But because he repeated a grade that was vital to learning the basics on which the rest of his education was based, he succeeded academically. As a parent, I was quietly relieved ... because he had a one year advantage to better equip him with the peer pressures.

My Middle Son struggled with school but did not fall in the spectrum of any learning ability that was making this a challenge. So my mom subsidized the cost for him to attend an out-of-school, after-school-hours tutorial type of school to assist those who struggled academically. Yes ... my son moved along with his peers. But he struggled to keep up and succeed. Personally, I think that his state of feeling overwhelmed was at the core of some of the phone calls I received from his teacher in elementary. School does not hold a lot of fond memories for him.

Yet ... the Grade 8 Graduation ceremonies for each of them was a memorable occasion. Why? Because each of them were acknowledged for a challenge they overcame (I believe that, in part, is the reason behind the French Award that My Oldest received) and what they were successful at.

The presentation of these awards were preceded with an explanation of what the award was, what qualities they were looking for in the recipient and then before the actual presentation of the award, they described the student's qualities who was receiving the award. I felt the drum roll in my heart. When the award was presented, my heart swelled with joy as their lives passed before my eyes and I saw all that they overcame to achieve this.

My Youngest Son has had an easy go of it so far. Our home life is calm, stable and supportive. He catches on to the academics of school easily. He enjoys sports and has a flair for the arts (especially drama). He is a good citizen at his school. He does small things that make a big difference in his community. That ... is just who he is.

This year, he made a conscious effort to make it a memorable year. He ensured that he was involved in what was important to him. Right from the onset of the school year, he made it his goal to have perfect attendance for the year. He succeeded in his goals.

Last night, I had few expectations but I was hopeful that the ceremony would feel up close and personal. This is the last Grade 8 ceremony that I will attend as a mother. That sentiment alone should have made this a momentous occasion.

But it wasn't.

My number one complaint is that I could barely hear what was being said. The vast majority of the ceremony was in the voice of the students. Unfortunately we couldn't hear a lot of the voices. Half way into the ceremony someone had the bright idea to turn up the volume on the speakers. The other half of the frustration was with the unending voices of the children in the audience. If I have one suggestion for these ceremonies, it would be to strongly encourage a quiet audience. Provide childcare or make a concerted effort to ensure the adults in the audience are able to hear over the small children (this really irks me and I can still feel a residual grudge this morning).

The farewell program (from what I could tell) was thoughtful and highlighted each student equally. As each student went up to accept their certificate, the student preceding them described who they were; their likes & dislikes; their hopes and dreams. It would have been nice to hear all of them ...

Then as (what appeared to be an afterthought) the ceremony was winding up, they had a few awards to hand out. The only word that I heard to describe the first one, was 'proficiency'. Oh. With little fanfare and an unmemorable description of the award, two female students were called up to accept this award. Then there was one more. I thought I heard the word 'Kinsmen' ... that's all I made out before My Son and another boy's name were announced and they went up and touched the award and went back to their seats.

What just happened here???

As the vice principal came up and congratulated My Son after the ceremony, I asked him what the award was for. I was dumbfounded when I heard his (lack of) answer.

He stumbled and fumbled over the words and said words like: overall; community; academically; and a few more words that I have forgotten. He said that the school had made the decision not to have any awards and an organization "Kids Up" (????) approached the school and insisted that they had this award that they wanted to be given. They didn't have the plaques made up in time (they hope they will deliver them before school ends next week), nor did they have a presenter for the award. But they insisted ... so the school obliged. Even though their heart was not in it.

Am I proud of my son for receiving this acknowledgement? I think so. I feel like I should make up words to describe why he received it. But it was an honor to hear that he stood out in a positive way.

What the school decided to do in lieu of awards, was to put stickers on the individual student's certificate to acknowledge the areas in which they were award-worthy. Do I agree that these acknowledgements be made on an individual basis? Definitely. How can you give one award when there are a dozen worthy students? How can you discern the vast differences as to why one student should receive this acknowledgement over another? If one percentage point makes a difference as to who receives an award over another ... it doesn't encompass the individual efforts required. Yes! Acknowledge all students for what they excel at.

But to me, there is one acknowledgement that could and should have been made. Attendance. Yes ... there are a wide and vast array of reasons why some students must miss school. But after a year of being responsible for taking attendance calls and following up on unexcused absences ... I am quite biased in regards to this matter.

Reasons that I have heard for students being absent:
  • (s)he's tired
  • I can't make her/him go
  • they don't have mitts/boots/appropriate clothing
  • grandma/cousins/family are in town
  • we are going out of town
  • family vacation to an exotic (out of country) location
  • extra-curricular activities (in the old days, didn't that mean AFTER school?)
  • a sibling's tournaments
  • they don't have a way to get to school
  • I need them at home to help out
  • ... and that is just to name a few ...
There are as many or more legitimate reasons. And yes, anything can come up at any time that no one could ever plan for. Life is like that. But when parents don't make attendance a priority in their own life ... what kind of example are they setting?

That is why I think that there is one award that is politically correct to acknowledge. Attendance. Even my mom received the Perfect Attendance award for every (?) year she bowled. Why not at school?

My Son told me that they were told at the beginning of the year, that they would come up with a special acknowledgement for those that had perfect attendance for the year. My son was inspired by another student who had perfect attendance for four years. He made up his mind and achieved his goal. What was the special acknowledgement?? Pizza lunch. Oh.

Well, my son ... this is real life. You must set your own sights and standards high. Reach for the stars and believe anything is possible. You will find your rewards as you go along ... but most of them will come from doing your personal best and giving yourself credit where credit is due. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge every small victory.

The reality is that awards aren't given out for life successes. That is why it is so important to acknowledge the little things that people do when ever you have an opportunity. We all need a little encouragement from time to time.

Eighty percent of success of success is just showing up.
~Woody Allen

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