Undeterred, I thought I would quickly run out and get them fixed. I had been putting off getting groceries and my eye doctor is across the street from the grocery store. I would be back in an hour.
I drove up to my eye-place and it looked rather dark inside. My eyes were drawn to the sign on the doors. They had moved. It wasn't too far, but it added an unexpected dimension to my quick errand.
After getting groceries, I found the new location for my eye doctor. I walked in and someone was able to help me immediately.
Except ... the moment I told her that one of my temples had snapped off, she told me that a part would have to be ordered. She checked to see if my glasses were still under warranty. Unfortunately, they weren't.
So ... the next girl called to find out how long it would take for the necessary part and the cost. I wasn't terribly surprised to discover that they no longer make the part required for my glasses. It looked like I would be shopping for some new ones.
I mentioned my financial limitations and asked if we could browse in the bargain section. The girl was so cheery and helpful. I said that I had been feeling rather frumpy ever since I started wearing my glasses full time and she said, "We'll have to change that!"
I didn't even bother looking in the mirror because I couldn't see. She suggested that I could look in the mirror at the end of the aisle and get really close to it. Sorry. A close up version of a blind me in a public mirror would not sell me on the best pair of glasses. I looked at her instead and let her choose.
Last fall, I went in for a quote on some glasses prior to finding out that I couldn't afford to buy them (just before my full-time job turned into a substitute position). Lens prices had increased since that time, but they honor their quotes for six months. That saved me $30.00. She found me a cheaper pair of frames and that saved another $110.00. Which means I also saved $14.00 in taxes. It was my lucky day after all.
Next disappointment? It will take 10 - 12 business days for my new glasses to arrive. She did put a rush on it since my current glasses are unfixable. She couldn't even glue them together as a temporary fix. So I must wait.
Then I came home.
My momentum was lost. My Youngest was at the computer so I couldn't go straight to my book project. So I thought this would be a good opportunity to email another batch of resume/writing samples to (a fourth) province.
By the time I got to the computer and was able to start on the book project, my ambition level was declining to nil. I tried to spur myself forward, but all that I saw before me was the chaotic layout of the book which I must fix.
As I struggled to persevere, replies from my resume started coming back. Two of the three responses were of the "we are 100 per cent local in our content" ilk. The third was that of we are not accepting new columnists but " I'll keep you in mind, if anything changes" ... Why was it then, that all I could think afterwards was, "What am I doing? Who do I think I am???"
I was sitting with my disorganized family history project in front of me, still reeling from the 'rejections' of the columnist idea when the phone rang.
It was the dance studio. "We will see you at the group class tonight, won't we??" they asked. I was feeling low, frumpy, my vision blurred with my out-of-date perscription in my ugly old glasses ... and they were suggesting that I push myself out of my misery and go out and socialize? My mind was not even in a place where I wanted to negotiate. I was staying home and I knew it.
It came up in conversation that the blog posts that I had been asked to write (about a month ago) had been sitting 'unpublished' in their dance-blog. I had sent an email the morning I finished them to let them know they were written. I left them in 'draft' form so that they could be edited if necessary before they were posted. And there they sat. For a month (more rejection??).
One of them was titled "Winter Blues? Come to a Group Class!" It focused on the special group classes being offered at the studio in January and February. The whole theme behind what I initially wrote was out of date. I tried to go in and edit it. But I couldn't. I couldn't even talk myself into going to a group class. I most certainly couldn't sell anyone else on the idea.
I gave up.
I threw supper together and parked myself on the couch. I started nodding off to sleep somewhere around 6:00. I woke up at 7:30 and thought to myself, "Whoops ... I missed group class". Then fell back into a light snooze.
It was kind of a crappy day. I have been sticking my neck out an awful lot lately and it's getting sore. I just needed to sleep it off.
Surprisingly, I woke up at about 3:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I checked my email and found this message:
"Many of life's failures
are people who did not realize how close they were to success
when they gave up."
~Thomas A. Edison~
I read those words, took two pain killers to ease the pain in my neck/back and headed back to bed. Numb the pain and don't give up. That is my plan for today.
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