Wading Through the Discomfort

When my conscious mind starts to wake up each morning, what are the first thoughts that come to my mind?

Where do I go today? How do I get there? Have I been there before? In short, what is the forecast for my day?

There is a slight racing of my heart as I wake up and remember what I do (or do not) know about the day that is about to unfold. It isn't fear. It isn't anticipation. It is the unknown.

Today's forecast is:

• To work at a busy school that I have worked at once before. I love being busy! The one day that I worked at this school sped by.
• To work with a secretary that was very kind and willing to show (and tell) me all that I needed to know, to make the most of the day.
• And ... I already know that I will return to this same school for a full day again tomorrow.
• This afternoon, I will go downtown for some training.
• I am so excited to finally, finally get some training! It is training on a computer program for one, small piece of my job. But I will be in an environment where questions are welcomed (absolutely no one has given me a hard time for asking questions since I've been on the substitute list).
• My day will be divided into two separate pieces. Two different locations. Two mindsets.

There is little that is predictable about my weeks, except for the fact that they are unpredictable. I am a creature of habit, so I suppose that this is a lesson on becoming adaptable. As uncomfortable as it is, I am finding this more of an adventure than anything else.

I step out of the door most mornings blazing a trail to a school I haven't worked at before, not knowing if I'll be flying solo or if I'll have some assistance to get through the day or any idea of what the day will bring.

This is not comfortable. But in the discomfort, I am learning so much. I am growing. I am spreading my wings and doing more, learning on the fly and trusting myself to make decisions on my own. I needed this.

I have had so many positive experiences since I have been a substitute secretary. The contrast between 'where I was' and 'where I am' has taught me that I needed to leave 'where I was' ... to get to where I was meant to be. I haven't arrived. But I'm getting there.