Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Really! I'm Fine!!

My Second Son took on a serious tone last night and asked me if I was feeling 'down'. Heavens! I was having a great day. Where did that come from??

"I've been reading your blogs ..." he stated seriously, as if that was supposed to clue me in. I had posted an upbeat entry yesterday morning and I was bewildered as to what he was referring to. It was my old journal entries that hit an emotional chord with him.

I read and posted those entries with a healthy detachment. I don't live in my past. I did that for the better part of the first 48 years of my life. I learned a lot from the choices that I made, but I'm done with trying to fix and confront people from a prior life. I'm over feeling guilty. I am taking what I learned and moving on.

I will not spend my energy on negativity. I will not draw that back into my life. I am content in the knowledge that I did all that I could and it is out of my hands. I don't have to live with other people's choices. They do. I'm good with that. And I sincerely hope that they are as well.

My Second Son was so intense with emotion as he talked about the past, as it related to him. I was rushing through my evening and didn't have time to stop and focus on the moment. But as I was running out the door, I thought to myself ...

"The ripple of the past ..." it's still there.

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