Sunday, August 8, 2010

How Can Such an Empty Calendar Be So Busy??

The calendar used to be full before I even flipped over a new month in my day care days. My schedule with the kids filled each week day. 'Our life' was written in the margins in red. Those were the busy days.

Now ... I flip over to a brand new month and the calendar page is empty.

This month, I had two things written on the page. Two.

A friend called and asked if I'd like to go and visit with her aunt one afternoon. I quickly agreed. And guess which days she suggested? Yes ... the only days I had anything marked on my calendar. We then settled for the 30th of the month and plans were made.

It's amazing how back-to-school slipped my mind this year. I woke up the next morning and researched what days the kids go back to school. That would be the 30th.

It was about this time that I realized that the plans that I made for the 9th intercepted with my blood donor appointment. How could I double book myself on the only days that I have anything planned?

I'm having a major internal struggle with the budget this month. In all reality, I should cancel all dance lessons for the month. Then again ... I could compromise and take half of them. That seems like the sane way to go.

But ... My Youngest is craving a mini holiday before he heads back to school. How do I juggle the time to afford to be able to take some days off, with the lack of funds and the days we have left to work with? If I cancel all of my dance lessons I have a bit of wiggle room. No I don't. I don't have wiggle room this month. No matter what I do (even if it is nothing), I am spending more than I made. It's just a matter of how much I allow myself to over indulge ...

Dance lessons. This week they land on the same night that one of our young dance students is performing in the Youth Talent Search. I'd love to go and see this. Yet ... if I go, I could end up spending more than the cost of my dance lesson. Oh, the dilemmas!

Then there is work. Yes, I am in control of my work days. But I am finding that it is very hard to work in a 40 hour work week when working from home. I am easily distracted. I delay starting. I allow myself to take breaks that are longer than they need to be. I worked so hard last week that I decided I could allow myself a weekend. But I want to 'play' too much this month. How can I work in all that I want to do, with all that I need to do??

I am torn in too many directions.

For a calendar month that appears so 'empty' ... it is very full.

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