Sunday, April 11, 2010

It's All in the Details

It irks me when I can't remember the exact phrasing of something. When I retell a story, it loses something in the translation because I can't recall the exact words that I heard.

In collecting our family's memories, I have tape recorded (with permission) each person that I have talked to. When I transcribe these conversations, they come to life on the page because the voice is not mine. It is important to me, to keep the voices true.

I am not writing a book about our family ... I am simply researching and assembling the voices of many. I want to try and preserve some of those precious memories between two covers. This isn't my story, but the story of our family.

When I collected stories from Mom's family, it was with one goal. Mom has been a 'story teller' all of my life. I've heard her view on life as she saw it. She grew up during the depression and World War II. She was a feisty young girl (and remains to be a pretty feisty 82 year old). My Oldest Sister once commented, "Someone should write this down ..." and so I did.

It was a huge step out of my comfort zone. I called on each of my mom's sisters and got to know them. A piece of their younger selves and a piece of the person they have become. Mom often told me that even if 'The Book' didn't become a reality, it was already a success. Just because I got to step out of my younger, quieter self and get to know my family.

I am restarting my research for my dad's family's story today.

I am driven by something completely different this time around. To me, this book will not be the same as Mom's. With Mom, I wanted to capture the stories that I had heard all of my life (and continue to hear). But Dad? He's not here to tell me his story (and he would probably not be comfortable with the idea if he was), so I have to do a little digging.

I feel like the 10 year old version of myself as I step into this role. I am going to people that I hardly know and asking them to tell me about my dad and his family. I could be a little biased, but I think my dad was a pretty special man. I can hear it in the tone of voice that people use when they talk about him. It is not only their words that are gentle ... it is their whole demeanor.

Dad's older brother died before Dad. I can't help but feel for my uncle's family. They too, lost their dad much too soon. There are too many things that remain unsaid when we lose someone before their time. It is my goal to unearth some of those feelings and gift them to his family. If I put enough pieces of the puzzle together, it is my hope that his children will find a piece of their dad that they didn't know.

Dad has five younger brothers. I have had the opportunity to talk to each of them. They are able to tell their own stories ... but being such a modest bunch, they don't say a lot. So even for them, I will have to do some digging.

Today, I'm heading out to 'The Hills' with a friend and neighbor from my childhood. We are going to go out and talk to her aunt, who grew up in 'The Hills' neighboring my dad's family. Her enthusiastic response to this request for her time and memories has me anticipating the day ahead. It sounds like she's full of stories. She still lives in the house that my grandparents once lived in. Another piece of the past ...

I trust that today will be the launching pad that I need to get myself motivated to make this 'Book' become a reality. I have been dragging my heels on this for too long.

I don't want to rush this process. I went too fast with Mom's story. It was necessary to start and complete the project that I had set out before me. This time ... it's different.

It's all in the details. The pieces of the past that many hold onto. I hope to capture the essence of the life of my dad's family. The past becomes our future and it is my goal to preserve and honor the family that came before me ...

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