Criticism

I have far too many kind people in my life. They are gentle with their words, generous with their support and they listen to my banter ... far too much.

I could coast like this forever. I don't want to do that. I want and need to continue to push myself. You don't grow and learn if you don't venture out into new territory. I love that feeling of safety and security. But I'm stagnating at this level. It's time to push the bar.

Going back to school is a step in the right direction. I'm challenged and motivated. I've set goals for myself that I'm achieving. Yet, if I'm achieving them that easily ... maybe I should be striving for something more difficult.

Then there is dancing. It always comes back to dancing for me.

Preparing for this competition has been fun. I'm learning new things - small bits of information here and there. Nothing overwhelming. I don't want to say it's easy, because the simplest of things throw me completely off of my game when it comes to adding a small bit of proper technique onto something that I already know. But I knew I wasn't pushing my limits. Until Monday.

The owner of the dance studio offered several suggestions and pointers as we worked through the last part of the lesson. He is a very wise man - he sees all, knows all and feels all (from my perspective anyway) when it comes to dancing. I value his opinion and respect his knowledge.

My head was swimming as he suggested what to practice at home, where to hold my arms, how to move them, reminded me to breathe, relax my shoulders and so on and so forth.

He talked of the upcoming competition and the look he 'saw' on me (this involves wild and crazy ideas about my hair).

He checked over my new dance costume and honestly evaluated it. 'Yes' - it is too young for me. But ... 'Yes' we are going to use it anyway. Then he went on to suggesting ways to make this costume work. If he thinks it could work, I believe it will.

My head was swimming by the time I left my dance lesson. I believe that I walked out of the dance studio with the deer-in-the-headlights look. But after the dust settled, I was grateful for the time and energy that was spent on me during the last part of my lesson.

I know I'm not pushing myself at the dance studio. And I should be. As I prepare for this competition, I should be pushing the limits and daring to dance as I've never danced before. I was complacent - thinking that what I knew was good enough. It was safe. It was comfortable.

I need honest criticism in my life. And I received a very gentle dose of that during my Monday dance lesson. I didn't walk out of the studio laughing and full of the 'fun' that I usually feel. But that was okay. It was necessary.

This is a person that I gravitate towards when I want an honest answer. I have a few people in my life like that. I need that ...

My Middle Son has always had the knack of speaking honestly to me. He seems to have a detachment that allows him to see the full picture and communicate what he sees and feels. I respect his judgement and when he says something, I listen.

I need that honesty in my life. I quietly crave it. Sometimes I seek it out.

I'm okay with who I am ... but I know there is always room for improvement. Whether it's on the dance floor or simply being a good human being. I need a little honest criticism in my life.