Monday, November 23, 2009

Past Conversations

I had a conversation yesterday that is still running through my head. The question is why?

Is it because it unearthed a statement that I made almost three years ago? One sentence that someone remembered that I said. Something that I can't deny that I uttered.

Wouldn't it be nice to know that anything you said to anyone could be repeated to you, years later and you wouldn't regret how the words sounded?

There is an entire dialog and back story that goes along with that one statement. Yes, I said what was reiterated back to me. But do I really have to go back to a time and place where I must relive the past, to put that quote into context?

When I reflect on the past, I try to replay the entire scenario of events. In retelling a situation, I will often qualify that this is only the way that I saw and felt something. There is another person with an equally justified point of view and often they would not remember things the same way.

At the moment, a Person Close to My Heart is going through tough transition in life. I can relate to both sides of the story. In hearing this person's point of view, I find myself reexamining old scenarios in my life. I'm feeling some of what the other party (in another place and time in my life) must have felt. Plus, I vividly remember my reasons for acting and saying the things that I did.

When it comes to matters of the heart, there are two sides to every story. There may be actions that can be judged as right or wrong. But the emotions behind the act. That is where both people are equal.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

We may not know the way our words are being internalized by a person we are talking to at the time. Some people react instantly and there are immediate repercussions to words said in haste. Others quietly absorb them and let them accumulate. Eventually, it all comes out. Sooner or later, we usually find out how our words or actions have impacted another person.

In a perfect world, every word would be weighed carefully when spoken. In our imperfect world, we will eventually have to face up to what we have said or did to another person.

It is unfortunate that it seems we often hurt the ones we love. The comfort of knowing a person so well to feel comfortable enough to say anything ... often comes back to haunt us. It may be immediate ... it may be three years later ... or another person may quietly carry that hurt within and never let us know. But if we have said something hurtful, it weighs heavily in our conscience. We remember.

Be gentle with your words ... you never know when they are going to come back to you.

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