A Brand New Slate

I will be cracking open two brand new books at school this morning. I think one of the things that I love about school is that I get to neatly wrap up one course before I head onto the next. There is a slight overlap as two to three courses have been underway lately ... but even at that, I feel in control.

The dance showcase has been the same kind of thing. There were three separate routines that I was working on. Each of them were performed on the day of showcase ... then when I walked in the door at the dance studio last week, it was like a fresh, new beginning.

I have been helping a friend with her family history book. Last week, that project was delivered to my doorstep in its final, completed stage. I have been collecting memories from my dad's family and it is now time to start a brand new family history. Yet another empty canvas to work with.

The past two months, I have reconnected with my Oldest Son on a level that we have never been before. The past is not a taboo topic ... but it has been on the table and we were both free to examine it honestly. Once again, I have the inner picture of the past being put in its proper place. And we have started anew.

This past weekend, I was on foreign ground with my book keeping job. Things that I have never done before. I was paralyzed. I stopped in my tracks and I have avoided my work. I was fearing the unknown.

It's scary to walk through new doors. I've opened quite a few of them lately but with every new challenge I meet, I am paralyzed for a while. The moments of indecision before I take that first step into the unknown.

This week, it is time to take some more new steps. Time to open new books, tackle new challenges, find 'new' within old relationships, start telling the story of another family ...

This past weekend ... I slept. I slept a lot. I was angry at myself for procrastinating. But in the light of a new week, I will take the energy that I regained and start taking some tentative new steps.

Yes, I'm starting with a fresh slate. But I have many lessons to take with me as I forge out of my comfort zone once again.