A Blank Monday

I logged into my blog this morning, to discover a completely blank entry for yesterday. I knew I did something kinda funky yesterday, as I tried to add some words. I double checked the blog but as far as I could see, nothing happened. Yet ... this morning. There it was. Nothing (the date, the time ... and nothing else).

The thoughts rambling through my head yesterday were far from nothing. Too much, perhaps. But never nothing.

First thought of the day:

"Another cloudy day" ... I don't mind cloudy days when I feel sunny inside. But I had talked to so many people recently that commented on the weather, their mood and how it affected their ability to cope. The dreary days seem to impact many people in a negative fashion. I wish I could wave my magical wand and grant inner sunny-ness to all those who suffer with gloom on those cloudy days.

Next thought:

"All I can think about is dancing!" The dance showcase is nearing and there is an electricity in the air at the dance studio. I've been listening to a lot of music lately. Singing, beating out a tune and dancing a few steps. The music within is plentiful (I think it helps with the sunny disposition on dreary days too). I also realized, that the dance studio is where I have the most contact with other adult beings these days. As I recall the conversations I have, most of them are within the walls of the studio. So I carry a small piece of the magic of the dance studio with me in between lessons. It's grand!

Then as the day went on:

I'm getting frustrated.

I thought I had a plan all mapped out for the month of October. A way to try and spread out my down time. Yet, five days into the month it was all going downhill.

School - I logged excess hours during the month of September. I'm a few weeks ahead of where I'm scheduled to be, in my studies. My marks are averaging in a range I feel good about. I'm putting in the time, effort and studying required and it's paying off.

So ... I thought I'd check to see if I can try to keep my hours at the school down to the minimum. I was told it was possible ... but not recommended.

I had planned on making the most of those few extra hours - to run around and tend to some of the 'girly stuff' (clothes, hair, jewelry) that needs to be tended for the dance showcase. But most of all, I planned to log in a lot of book keeping hours so that I could have more down-time during the evenings and weekends. Shot down.

I'm going to come at it from a different angle today. Talk to someone else and state my case. There has got to be a way!

Weekends - This past weekend was an ideal mix of work, play, family and alone time. If I could patent the recipe that was last weekend, I would. It was ideal.

Now ... a long weekend is pending. I was thrilled. Three entire days. I have outside work to tend to. I have a book keeping task that should be able to be wrapped up this weekend if I can work steadily at it. Kurt wants to go and see a movie. I even promised to cook a turkey supper for my family.

But ... it has been suggested that we try and make this Thanksgiving a 'family affair'. More than our own immediate family. Which requires giving up those 3 days.

Three days. Is it really too much to give up for the sake of family? No. But it just wasn't in my plans. Especially since I was told that I should still put in a full week of school despite the long weekend taking up an extra day.

So ... yesterday, I wrote nothing.

Today ... I shall try it all again.