Monday, June 22, 2009

Spontaneity

That would be the word that best describes this past weekend. Everything that we did was spontaneous. It was perfect. Yes ... I took a break.

I love being able to follow my whims. My whims have taken me many places these past few years. I've ventured out of the safety and security of my home and my solitude and I've 'climbed a few mountains' (maybe they were only hills, but they felt like mountains at the time). I've taken some risks and put myself out there - in the land of the living. It has been quite a ride.

That said, I am truly the happiest when I'm snuggled up in the comforts of our home. I have everything that I could possibly need within arms reach. I have work to keep me busy, family and pets to love and feel that reciprocated. I have the world at my fingertips - whether by phone, the computer or pen and paper. I am never more than a few 'words' away from anyone that I could ever hope to keep in touch with. I have my dreams. They are alive and well (although, at the moment they are overwhelming me a tad).

My heart is soaring with the contentedness that is my life. I am living the reality that dreams do come true (so I continue to dream, to hope and aspire to new heights).

This past weekend was a gift. A simple bike ride and time to sit in a park and breathe. A movie that we decided to see at a moments notice (that was in keeping with my mood of the day - 'Up'). Time to sit and watch a few movies at home (alone and as a family). Time to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it.

I woke up with an uplifted spirit within me yesterday. In a word, I was happy. The Happy Glow tainted everything I did yesterday. I was full of cheer, as I greeted the people within the confines of the day. The movie we saw made me laugh ... hard. I heard myself not chuckle quietly ... but laugh. The joy I felt inside was not to be contained.

Though, as the weekend wound to a close I mourned the loss of that freedom. I went through the paces of readying myself for the week ahead and gradually, the Happy Glow faded. I only had hours of consciousness left in me and I didn't want to share them any more. I needed that time to steel myself for the week ahead.

As I think about the guilty thoughts of wanting to grab those last moments for me and me alone, I'm a little bit sad. The spontaneity was gone. I was starting to feel driven again.

I work with kids all week. If ever there was a 'career' that allowed for spontaneity to bloom, I am living it. Instead of focusing on what I don't have, I should focus on what I've already have.

That ... I believe is the true key to the Happy Glow. Living in the moment, and loving where you are at.

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