Thursday, May 14, 2009

Impossible Things

I like to do my 'impossible things' (things that take the greatest amount of psychological and physical energy) in the mornings. The hard-to-do-items on my agenda are best done early in the day. Once I've climbed a mountain or two before lunch, it's amazing how much positive energy oozes out of me for the remainder of the day.

All week, I've had a rough time getting those tough goals accomplished throughout the entirety of the day - let alone in the morning.

I've been unmotivated to exercise. Little tasks that I can usually accomplish in no time are taking forever as it seems like I have 100 interruptions that side track me. The daycare-world has been more demanding as we deal with a diarrhea epidemic, on top of school kids staying home (sick with cold/flu like symptoms) and a few changes to our regularly scheduled day. I feel like I've been quite literally running in circles.

The biggest hurdle was the 'impossible thing' that I scheduled early in the week. I called Monday morning, to arrange an interview (to collect memories for Dad's family's story) on Wednesday evening. I was a little uncomfortable about this meeting. Not because I was uncomfortable talking with this person ... but because I was afraid I may be asking too much of her. I had 3 full days to let my insecurities simmer.

What did I do? I ate. Then I ate some more. Finally I decided that if I just ate every tempting food item in the house maybe I could put this bad eating pattern behind me. How do I feel? Gross and disappointed in myself.

This morning, I have a clean slate. The 'impossible thing' is behind me (and it went very well). I have very few food temptations left in the house (unfortunately, I've still got some cookies that I may have to donate to a needy cause to get them out of harms way). But the emotional turmoil within, is lessened.

I have an upcoming long weekend that is getting me out of bed in the mornings. There are several 'impossible things' slated for the weekend. But without the interruptions of my daycare world, everything should be possible.

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone and do things that feel a little bit impossible. I don't like when I let insecurities and unaccomplished tasks weigh me down. This week has been one of those weeks. I have a few uncompleted tasks that I must cross off the 'impossible things' list.

My hope is that those 'impossible things' weigh about 6 pounds. It must be the weight on my shoulders that is contributing to the out of control weight gain this week. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I've been consuming twice as much (bad) food as I need to consume in a day ... could it??

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