Am I Leading a Virtual Life?

I wake up in the morning and the first thing that I do, is check my emails. From there, I often check my bank balance and my credit card transactions online. I have become hooked on watching 'missed episodes' that the TV networks offer from their websites. If I'm up to date on that, I'll click on the 'Favorites' on my task bar and read some of the blogs that I have discovered. I'll update my blogs ... I download pictures and videos onto the computer and 'make movies' with Windows Movie Maker. I send emails ... I reread emails that I have recently sent or received ... I'll clean out my emails ... run virus scans ... listen to music and play solitaire. I am compiling some family histories, that I am amassing on my computer. I have learned what I need to know from my 'Word' program on the computer, I have a book publishing company listed in my favorites that I check in on, from time to time to answer my questions. I read or hear something that triggers a question and I'll run and 'Google' it. I do crosswords, I check TV and movie listings. I dream about a 'real' vacation and check out destinations, flights and hotels online. When I tire of all of that, I can wander around YouTube and check out the animal or music videos. I do all of this without not only leaving my home ... but never leaving my computer chair!

Yesterday morning I woke up at 8:00 am. I went straight to the computer and I 'played'. All day. It was almost 7:00 pm before I finally pried myself away from the computer desk. Kurt and I tried to go and see a movie but since most of the people in our city had the same idea, we nixed that idea in favor of finding a cheap movie at WalMart. We picked up supper, bought a few snacks and spent 1 1/2 hours watching a movie together. And what was I thinking during the last half hour of the show? "I wonder if I got an email ..." Which I had.

I lead a very home-based life. I take care of children in my home for 10 hours of every week day. I do book-keeping which is delivered and picked up to my door. My hours are quite committed, so I do find a lot of solace in the fact that my work, my relaxation, my enjoyment and my free time is all enjoyed from the comfort of my own home.

But when I think about the lack of face to face contact that I have at times, it is frightening. Thankfully I am not shying away from the idea of that. I've started attending a group dance class to push me out of my comfort zone and put myself out in the real world with real people. I seem to always have some type of gathering on a back burner and I invite small groups of people into my home on a semi regular basis. I jumped at the chance to join my family on Friday night to support and appreciate a family member's creative talents. I'm not afraid to leave the confines of my oasis here at home and at my computer. But do I enjoy it ... too much??

As I was reading the ''Chicken Soup for the Soul'' book that I got for Christmas, every time an author would strike a chord with me I would Google their name and read a little bit about them. I stumbled across one author's blog and I now check it on a daily basis. The talent, knowledge, imagination and process of writing a fiction novel intrigues me. I love to write, but I don't have the imagination required to put together a piece of fiction. I write what I feel and what I know. I am spellbound by the words that this author puts out into cyberspace and she inspires me. I have found a one sided 'virtual' friend that doesn't know I exist.

Yesterday, as I spent the entirety of my day at the computer I found a link on this authors blog that I followed and found a 'Mom and More' blog. The very first entry that she wrote struck a familiar chord with me (eavesdropping on children's conversations). I felt compelled to make a comment on what she had written because her words spoke to me. In my experience with kids, my daycare and the blog that I set up for my daycare parents I make it part of my job to continually eavesdrop. So before I went to sleep last night, I went back to her blog and found that she had replied to my comment. Her words meant a lot.

I woke up this morning with some of yesterdays words and thoughts ringing in my mind. I wrote of my 'virtual world' as I signed off of an email. I thought of the blogs that I read that inspire me - unbeknownst to the authors. I thought of the comment and reply that I did make to this one author and how the words of a virtual stranger touched a chord in me. I thought of the blogs that I author and wondered about my 'audience' (if there is one). Do my words make a difference? Or is my existence only in my mind ...

Virtual

1. Having the power of acting or of invisible efficacy without the agency of the material or sensible part; potential; energizing.

2. Being in essence or effect, not in fact; as, the virtual presence of a man in his agent or substitute.

A thing has a virtual existence when it has all the conditions necessary to its actual existence. --Fleming.

As I continue to allow my computer and Internet connections broaden my vision and horizons, I must force myself to spend time among living, breathing souls. Maybe it is in the over abundance of children and all that their reality brings to 44.64% of my waking hours that has me retreating to the quiet, virtual existence of my computer.

But where am I this morning? In front of the computer. Again ...