Friday, August 29, 2008

Ways to Build Courage

Stepping out of one's comfort zone and doing 'just one thing' that doesn't feel easy to do is a sure fire way to build courage.

Ever since I read the article '66 Ways to Build Courage', I believe that I have become a little bit addicted to pushing myself beyond what is comfortable and safe.

I used to break into a cold sweat before I dialed the phone. 'Dialing out' was simply something I didn't do unless I had a defined purpose for my call. Calling someone just to chat, was far out of my comfort zone (who would want to talk to me?). Initiating a visit or get together was simply too scary (who would want to get together with me??). I assumed everyone was busy leading their active and interesting lives and ... who would want to be interrupted by me???

Well, it took years for the tide to turn. There were many times that I would tell someone that I had been thinking of them at a certain time. And they would tell me that it would have been so good to hear from me right then (for whatever reason) ... or that they had been feeling the same way as I had been at the time. It happened often. I realized that a person really should listen to those instincts and make that call.

I finally, finally started acting on those instincts last year. And it has served me well. I cannot believe the success that I have had when ever I have had the strong feeling to call or email someone. I have had some marvelous get aways/visits/gatherings that simply wouldn't have happened if I hadn't reached out and said "What do you think about ..... "

Yesterday, the strong urge hit me again. This morning I picked up the phone and started calling. I called my cousins that lived in the city and suggested we have a cousin-get-together some Sunday afternoon. Just casual. Come and go ... or come and stay (and we could have a BBQ). I reached 3 people and 3 out of 3 of them were in total agreement with me. To get together and get to know each other a little better and simply enjoy 'family'.

I moved here 20 1/2 years ago and at that time, I didn't really want cousins to feel obligated to like me or be my friend ... just because we are related. But after seeing everyone briefly last weekend and just having a short visit with some of them, I realized something. I would love to be their friend. After 20+ years, I have the courage to reach out. After 20+ years, I feel worthy of my family (I won't go into how low my self esteem was, when I moved out here). After over 20 years, I am courageous enough to pick up the phone and say "Hi, would you like to get together some time?" And it is working for me.

I am euphoric. I feel courageous!

Doing just one thing that pushes you out of your comfort zone does amazing things.

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