Sunday, March 30, 2008

More Positive Thoughts

My Youngest and I went out to see a movie today and when we left the house I just had this strong feeling that I was going to find some money. As per "The Secret", I visualized it. I pictured a $20.00 bill. I saw it, I could feel it. I was thinking positive.

Well, sure enough, when we were standing in line at the show, I looked down and spotted what I thought was a quarter. Pleased with that, I thought my positive thinking was paying off. As it turns out, it was only a nickel but I still thought, "Hey, that beats a penny" (I found 2 of those yesterday).

Still feeling like I could find more, I kept my eyes pealed and sure enough, as we were walking into the theatre, I found a nice, shiny tooney (yes, it was really a tooney - not a quarter or a looney). So I thought, "There! That just paid for my parking." And I was pleased.

In the theatre, I did hear the guy behind us drop a coin and I tried to convince My Youngest to wait until they turned on the lights at the end of the movie to look for it (I told him that it definitely sounded like a loonie or a toonie - not a dime or a penny!). But unfortunately the ending credits were about as long as the movie (20 minutes of advertisements and previews before the show; 1 hour and 10 minutes of actual movie footage; and the credits/bloopers/outtakes were still rolling in a dark theatre about 10 minutes after the movie ended) and My Son was too embarrassed to stick around with me.

The good part, is that the movie didn't cost a cent. I used my last movie admission/concession gift certificate for our afternoons entertainment. The bad part, is that it is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life (I am not exaggerating). Do not run to see 'The Superhero Movie' ... and for heavens sake, don't take your 9 year old child!!! I was embarrassed to be a parent with a child in the theatre, but there were other younger viewers there as well. I assume the parents were like me (the previews didn't look promising, but I thought it would be suitable for a young audience ... I was sooooo wrong).

I was still feeling that my unfulfilled vision of finding that folding money was to come true, so I kept my eyes downward for the remainder of our outing. Unfortunately, that is where my story ends.

Oh well. At least we found $2.05. Subtract parking and we came out a nickel ahead of the game.

Friday, March 28, 2008

"Think Positive Thoughts"

This was the dialogue going on in My Second Son's head last night, as he drove to his accountant's to find out the final tally on what he will owe in income tax.

The week that he dropped off his income tax papers and talked to his accountant for the very first time had to be one of his most stressful weeks. 'Work stuff', 'relationship stuff', 'money stuff' ... and to top it all off, he was in an accident that rendered his truck undrivable (but thankfully he and the other driver were fine).

The night of the accident was rough. I could only see the way he looked and hear the way he talked. I was powerless in almost every way. But I guess, if nothing else I was another human being to bounce his words against.

My Second Son is resilient. It seems no matter how dire things look, he picks himself up, takes charge and he confronts whatever 'issue' is at hand.

So, last night as he had the litany of ''Think positive thoughts ... think positive thoughts ..." going through his mind, he would be rewarded once again.

He had saved more than he needed for his taxes and the extra money he saved will cover his truck rental and the deductible portion on his truck repair (and his truck should be ready pretty soon, now).

It was 3 weeks, to the day from his accident that ... once again, things are looking brighter. Actually, he was feeling much better about the outlook on everything within a day or two. Last night, was just the financial relief.

Thinking positive thoughts can never, ever hurt. And who knows? It just may help!

"Think positive thoughts!"

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Feeling Lazy

I am not getting the feeling of accomplishment that I have become rather addicted to. I'm sitting here spinning my wheels ...

I have never seen the numbers on the scale so high before. The activities (or lack of) of late have not been good for my waistline!

What's that all about?!? I started exercising when I weighed less! And now I weigh more? What incentive is that? Sheesh!

So, I decided to sleep in (in lieu of exercising) the past few mornings. I feel better when I bounce out of bed in the morning with a purpose and a plan.

My appetite went crazy after I started exercising. My brain was in overdrive and one of the mom's that I babysit for says you eat more when you are using your brain more (she's a student, so she should know, right?). I'm frustrated.

"The Secret" says to just place an order for your ideal weight as if you were looking in a catalogue. Sounds kind of hokey, but you know what? Tonight as I sat and focused on the number on the scale that I would like to return back to, I curbed my snacking. I focused on the numbers I want to see on the scale. And recognized that I really was full. I just wanted to eat out of habit, out of comfort ... 'filling the void' again.

I feel lazy in every capacity. Fat and lazy to boot.

I'm 'ordering' my ideal weight. I think I need to order some direction back into my days so that I can have that feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. I think I'm addicted to that feeling.

Feeling lazy is fun for a little while, but I don't want to stay here!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Puttering Again

I just can't seem to leave the Family History alone. I still have 'unfinished business' - wanting to make up a DVD slide show with some of the photos and editing together some of the video footage I have of our visits.

This morning I thought I stumbled across the perfect way to make up a DVD slideshow (the result is posted on the side of this blog), but it cost a mere $29.99 to make a DVD. Oh well, it was still a good trial run - I know what I want to do. I'll just see if I can find another way to do it.

This PhotoShow is intriguing though. I'd like to make up some other 'photoshows' with other themes and music. I have enough ideas to keep me rolling for a while.

It's nice to have something to strive towards. I don't really like to idle for long...

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

No More Excuses

Now that the lion's share of The Book work is behind me, I really have no excuse to be overwhelmed, tired, spent, impatient, distracted, self-centred ... you name it, I've blamed it all on The Book Work. No more.

But for some reason the spunk and drive in me has dwindled. I'll give it a few days. Maybe I need a few days of rest. But I really should be focusing on being a better 'me' after the distractions and energy-drain of The Book.

I've still been puttering around with editing things on the book - formatting type of work. I figured out how to add a table of contents today which was much, much more time consuming than I would have guessed. In looking at the massive amounts of chapters I have, I'm thinking I got carried away. But it seemed best to break up the sections ... who knows. When I relook at this in a year, I'll probably cringe at the end product and wish I hadn't hurried the process along. Who knows. I could always rewrite it!

I feel totally lazy. It's kind of nice, but I can't let it become a habit. I wonder what my next project will be???

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Mission Accomplished!!

I have done it!! I have finished the first draft of The Book. It has been printed and sent off to the 'sisters' for their final revisions. I have completed the first milestone. I am so excited!!!

I started collecting information for this project on January 20th. Today is March 23rd. I didn't quite accomplish the goal of 'writing a book in a month', but I ... wrote a book. I wrote a book! Not my story, not my words. But ... I wrote a book!

It is spring and I don't even know what happened to winter! I blinked and it was over. Wow!!!

Life is good all around. I wrote a book!!!!!

Mission accomplished.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Slow Going Today

I let the interuptions of the day take me away. It felt so very good at the time. I just followed where the day led.

I didn't accomplish very much. But it sure felt good to heed my body's wishes and just go with the flow.

Hopefully I'll wake up full of vim and vigor tomorrow. I was really counting on some productive time this weekend.

Here's to 'A New Day'!

Friday, March 21, 2008

A 'Yellow' Day

It was a most perfect day. I have a lot of wonderful days, but today was one with an asterisk beside it.

A day spent with sisters (and a brother by phone) is the best. I don't know exactly what Mom and Dad did to enhance the sisterly/brotherly bond we share. I think it is absolutely amazing. It is honestly one of the things I treasure the most about my life.

Our relationship seems to be one of pure and utter enjoyment of each other. Absolutely no sibling rivalry. I think we all see the best in each other and also recognize the fact that we are only 'human' as well. We are each other's cheering section, confidante and best friend. My family has held me up as I walked through some shaky territory in my life. They are my rock. I hope I can be theirs as well.

We are blessed. We are truly blessed.

I am feeling bright and sunny inside. I feel fluorescent (lit from within). I feel .... 'yellow'.

Thursday, March 20, 2008


I have developed the habit of being still for a while in the morning and 'pausing'. I usually sit here and add some words to my blog and putter around on the computer for a while. But basically, my mind is freeflowing with the mornings thoughts and mapping out the day. It is a most enjoyable way to begin the day.

I had a very quiet babysitting day yesterday, so I puttered with The Book a lot. By last night, I knew there was nothing more I could add to The Book for the day. So I gladly put it all aside for the evening.

Time. I had so much of it, I was momentarily at a loss. Then I turned on a movie I had bought a few weeks ago and just sat back and enjoyed it. I can't begin to count the amount of interuptions I had, but for the most part I was able to keep my mind focused on the story and take it all in.

My Second Son worked on the bedroom we are redoing for a while and then we sat down and had a nice visit when he was done. It looked like he was going to run off, but I think it was good for both of us to take that moment to 'pause'.

Three entire days off. Wow! I've got tonight and tomorrow accounted for, but what I am truly hoping for is those moments to 'pause'. To sit and watch a movie (uninterupted) would be novel (but that is when I tend to fall asleep). I want to look at each chapter in The Book with a fresh eye and reword and rewrite a lot of them. That would be a good morning-job. My mind is fresher and the words come more easily in the morning. By late afternoon and evening, it is a strain. And you can tell, when you read it. Time to read a book. Time to do something with My Youngest. Time to just be still with life and reflect ... project ... and breathe. Time.

It has almost been a year since I propelled myself into a perpetual motion. I have gone from one project to the next to the next to the next. Some of those 'projects' were getting away from the city and spacing myself from my 'life'. Other 'projects' were inviting people back into my life, my home and arranging gatherings. It seems no matter what the project was, I reaped benefits that far exceeded what I could have ever expected. My life is back in balance. I have people back in my life - family and friends .... I have passion back in my life - writing and dancing ... I have a sense of giving and work back in balance. My family feels content. My heart is full. I am excited about waking up and facing the day ahead of me. I feel whole again.

It is the first day of spring today. And after this year of regrowth within, I feel ready to burst open in full bloom and savor the seasons ahead.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

In the Home Stretch

In every capacity, I seem to be 'nearing completion'. Not there yet. But getting close.

The Book is coming along nicely. Yesterday (after taking a day away from it on Monday), I came back at it with a fresh energy. That is key. I should have taken a few more breaks this past month, but I didn't. So there are definite areas I have to rework. But it is getting closer to the spot I want it to be.

Mom's birthday gathering is nearing. The party unto itself isn't causing me any work, but I'm just doing my part and hopefully helping out along the way. It's just one of those things that is in the back of my mind. So it will be nice to have the day arrive and live the day instead of just think about it.

The week is nice and short as well. We are in the home stretch of our 4 day week.

I just read an article on someone who collaborated in writing the lyrics for a song. And once they had written the words, they let them 'simmer' for a month. I think once I've done all I can do with The Book, it needs that time as well.

There we go with the 'pause' button again. A button that I need to get better acquainted with!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

A Crash and Burn Day

Wow. I was 'spent'. Yesterday was a write off in every capacity. Thank goodness I had a very quiet babysitting day.

I succumbed to exhaustion early last night, slept soundly through the night and woke up 1/2 an hour before the alarm went off this morning. I feel rejuvenated.

I am getting eager to return to my regularly scheduled life once this Book Project is wrapped up. I am so close, but yet so far from that goal. Thankfully the long weekend is coming up and I hope that provides me time to tend to The Book as well as some downtime. Kurt is anxious for the return of the old me ... he was quite excited when I stayed away from the computer last night.

In the meantime, I intend to make the most of the days I have ahead of me. Write when I'm able; rest when I'm tired; and 'play' when the spirit moves me. I'm no good to anyone or for anything when I am in the wearied state I was in yesterday.

It actually felt very good to just crash yesterday. Stopped in my tracks. But it was a voluntary action. Sometimes when you don't stop when you should, I think that is when the body stops itself - whether by sickness or an injury or something else that is taking control when you don't do it yourself.

I'm ready for the next chapter ... bring it on!!

Monday, March 17, 2008

The "Undo" Button

It wasn't too long into my 'Microsoft Word' journey that I discovered the "undo" icon. Wow! What an amazing discovery! Since then, I've found an ''undo'' option in a few other places as well. That would have been nice to know a few times that I magically erased an entire email that was almost ready to send, but each time I did that I just thought to myself "I guess those words just weren't meant to be read."

How nice it would be to have that ''undo'' button in life! To quickly undo your last mistake (that is the key, you can't ''undo'' yourself out of a whole series of mistakes ... believe me, I have tried). Whether it was to take back that email you sent off too hastily, recall some words you spoke, rewind the 'tape' a little and avoid that accident ... the possibilities are endless.

But one ''button'' we actually do have and have the option to use, is ''pause''. Put an email aside before you hit ''send''; take a long breath before you speak; focus our attention on what we are doing and give ourselves a moment to pause.

The pause is an option I have and I should get in the habit of using it.

The other button I'd like is a ''mute'' one. I guess nature has an option for that one and it is called hearing loss. Given the option, I'll take the noise.

There is always an option....

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Friends For the Soul

The gift of a friend ...

I am truly blessed. Thank you, my friends. You know who you are. You have touched my soul and will be with me where ever our lives take us.

I am fortunate enough to have family that feel like friends. And friends that feel like family.

You are all truly a gift.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

9 Piles, 3 Books, Empty Pages and a Dream

These are the things surrounding my work areas this morning. All nicely sprawled out so that I can find what I need, when I need it (for whenever I get around to it).

On the top of the Book Project piles, I have printed off information and a picture of an all inclusive family vacation spot. I changed the scene on the desktop of the computer from a beautiful winter frost scene, to a picture of a tropical paradise. I'm focusing on the next big dream. Envisioning it. Believing it could happen.

And as I look out the window and marvel at the shrinking piles of snow, I am excited that our own Saskatchewan spring and summer paradise is on its way.

Our paradise is really where ever we make it. I can be as happy sitting in my own back yard with all the comforts of home only within my reach, as I could be, thousands of miles away from here. It's all about where your mind is at.

And my mind is actually in its own little paradise. Feeling passionate about my life - what I've got going on, the people in my life that each bring their own piece of wonder to my days and just a general overall good feeling about life in general.

I think I'll focus on creating a paradise right here in my home. Maybe I should even try to find those little paper umbrellas that (I hear) they stick in the tropical drinks. Who needs the alcohol? I'll settle for the little paper umbrella in my coffee and a sunbeam coming in my living room window.

Paradise. Right here. Right now. Now that sounds like a dream come true!

Friday, March 14, 2008

I Think My Brain Exploded

That has been my answer today, to the question "What happened to your eye?".

A blood vessel in my eye must have burst last night, because I woke up with a very red eye this morning. I just laughed when I saw it and thought to myself, "I knew I was over working my brain ... it exploded".

Still no rest for the weary though. My dance lesson was cancelled tonight so I used my bonus time and energy putting together a few more chapters for The Book.

Slowly but surely ....

I'm getting together with friends tomorrow, so I'm sure it will be a much needed reprieve from the Book Project. It's hard to step away from it but it will probably do me a lot of good to look up from the computer and my many piles of information that I am in the process of compiling. To come back at it with a fresh eye on Sunday will be good.

Knowing that I have to work tomorrow doesn't quite bring the same euphoria I felt last Friday (when I had Saturday booked off). I know, I know. I am very fortunate to have this job. Working is good. Working is good. Working is good. The sixth day of work is taxing. But working is good.

Time to rest my weary eyes .... maybe it is computer strain that caused the eye eruption? I still think it was my brain though.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Warm and Fuzzy Thoughts

Oh, how I love morning! The thoughts wafting through my head this morning are all 'warm and fuzzy' and make me feel good all over.

Of course, The Book is on my mind ... the next 'chapter' is being written in my head ... and dedications ... how can I word all that I want to say, when this really isn't my story?

I have one aunt in particular that has had so much heartache in her lifetime. And she has written such positive words and has a genuine 'tell-it-like-it-is' attitude. I can't even 'touch' those words that she has written herself and so I won't. They will be in The Book, word for word (I just have to shuffle the order a little bit, to fit it into the context of the chapter). The more I think about this book, the more I realize that I am not the author. I am just putting the stories in an orderly fashion and the family is telling the story.

My heart is so completely 'full', as I think of the honor it is to hear these stories first hand. This family amazes me. And despite what life has given them, they have risen above and cherished whatever they had, for as long as they had it.

In the way they all speak so lovingly and truly admire and appreciate their parents for who they were, it really makes me stop and think about what my children would write about me ... Faultless, I am not. But in the end, I hope that they feel valued, loved and that I simply did my best. Hopefully 'my best' keeps getting better as time goes on.

Isn't that really all anyone can do?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Power of a Rested Mind!

I did it! I finally did it!!

I had temporarily given up on adding the 'headers/page numbers' on The Book. I had been frustrated beyond belief in my attempts to simply add page numbers; the title of the book on even pages and the chapter of the book on odd pages ... without numbering the title page/preface/etc or having 'headers' on any of the pages that preceded the actual 'story' part of my book.

I discovered the ability to 'save' my work so that I could experiment with what I thought would work to get these pages numbered and labeled. And that was a great discovery. I could rest assured that no matter what I did wrong, I could go back to square one by simply 'not saving' my mistakes.

So last night I was brave enough to attempt the 'header/page number' dilemma once again. I tried and tried again. Getting warmer but still no success. All of my wrong attempts were not saved so I was free to go back to it with a rested brain this morning.

I love mornings!! A new day. A fresh perspective. And all it took was a little further research into the notes I'd taken in my online 'Word' tutorials. And I finally, finally, finally figured it out!

Eureka!! I feel as though I just discovered electricity (via turning on a light switch, perhaps), but at last I unveiled what was in front of me all along.

In this complicated world of ours it seems in the name of simplicity, 'easy' answers sometimes take time to unearth. Or is it that we are looking for the complicated answer which only makes it more difficult for ourselves??

It seems that 'the answer' often lies in discovering the language of whatever or whoever is speaking to you. Once I got my brain into 'Word' language, it was easier to understand where I needed to go to unveil the process.

The same process goes, when we are speaking to each other. How often does one realize to truly 'hear' what someone is telling you, you must really stop and listen. Their method of communicating may be a little different and it may take time to catch onto their language or lingo. But once we all get speaking and understanding each other, the lines of communication open up and the possibilites are endless.

'Microsoft Word' and I are almost on a first name basis right now. That is ... until I try something new. Which undoubtedly, I will. The more I learn about this program, the more excited I am about the endless possibilities 'Word' and I have together. I do believe I've stumbled onto the next long term relationship in my life.

And all because I looked at it with a rested brain and a fresh new day. What a difference a day makes!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Baby Steps

I've got to keep taking small steps with this Book Project. Diving into it head first this past weekend was necessary to get me started. But it was too much. So ... a little bit every day. Slow but sure wins the race (or at least finishes it).

It was a good day. I must admit, I will be glad have my old life back (when The Book is done). I think I shall continue writing, but in a much more relaxed and fun fashion. The writing aspect is enjoyable, even if it is just for myself.

Not a lot of 'big stuff' to write about, but it was a day of 'small (but good) stuff'. A fulfilling day. A good day.

But I must keep taking forward steps towards completing The Book.

Slow and steady.....

Monday, March 10, 2008

Listen Closely ...

"Let your heart guide you. It whispers. So listen closely"

I found that message scrawled on a sheet of paper as I was looking for something this morning. And it 'spoke' to me.

I have let my heart guide me through some of the biggest transitions in my life. And when I stop and actually listen, the answers I need are always within me.

Too often our world is so busy and our minds are even busier. Having the luxury to actually stop in your tracks and listen to the beating of your own heart is something we don't take time for. The more stressed a person is, the harder it is to stop.

It's no wonder that meditation is among the many things that is suggested in finding your 'Best Life'. There is a lot of wisdom within each of us. Everyone's answers are different. But your own answers lie within yourself.

Listen closely (It whispers).

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Bleary Eyed

It's time to call it a day and pry myself away from the computer.

Despite my many attempts to put in a productive day at 'The Book', it wasn't meant to be. Distractions and allowing myself to be distracted pulled me away from the project at hand. When I did sit down this morning with a clear and fresh mind, the words came out without effort. As the day progressed and I simply wanted to 'clear the slate' so I could start off the week without so much hanging over my head, the creative flow stopped in its tracks.

Thank goodness for yesterday. And thank goodness for all the days that follow. The only deadline I have for this book is the one I've created in my mind. I need to have a goal to attain. But I must make sure it is attainable. I think it is. But I know that I must walk away from it tonight.

In the mean time, I guess I must not push out all contact with the outside world. I'd love to live in a 'bubble' each Saturday, as I did yesterday. A day without interuption. A day to go at my own pace. A day.

It will be nice to have my Sundays back, after the Book Project. I do miss the slower pace of that relished one day off. Even my Grandma took Sundays as a day of rest. It's time to follow her good example.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

One Productive Day

I was sitting down, with The Book project by 8:30 this morning. It's now 6:30 and I'm ready to call it a day.

I took several breaks -refilling my coffee cup, tending to my family with the stomach flu (Kurt woke up with some stomach ailment this morning and even Mike (the dog) had a little stomach trouble that didn't make it outside), a lunch and a snack break. But I think The Book and I need a bit of a breather.

I'm accomplishing a lot in one way (getting the words to the page), but I'm not loving how I'm doing it. At this point, I seem to be copying word for word, from my original draft (just in a more orderly fashion). There is a bit of my 'voice' in there and I don't even really want my voice to prevail. This is not my story. But I want to find an effective way of putting it all together...

As I said, I need to take a step away from it.

Kurt and I are going to watch a movie together this evening. I think I need to completely divert myself from even thinking about 'The Book' until tomorrow. And I plan on waking up with a fresh outlook and perspective on things.

I am feeling good about where things are at in my 'world'. In every regard ... I'm content and satisfied. I feel loved and valued. I feel like I'm giving as much as I'm receiving. I feel like I am being an effective parent in some ways. Kurt has asked me if I am trying to be a fun parent (after I say something that he considers amusing); I think Dale feels easy with coming to me with what he is dealing with; and I even feel like Wes has me on a bit of the inside loop with a few things in his life. I feel connected. I feel complete. I feel serene.

It was a very good day.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Happy! Happy! Happy!!

Two consecutive days off = One very happy me!!

I booked tomorrow off as a holiday from work so that I can work uninterupted at 'The Book' as much of the weekend as I can. I am envisioning getting completely wrapped up in the project and I plan to work as long and as steady at it as I can. I can feel myself coming up with the words that have been sifting around in my head lately. I can see myself sitting at the computer and having the words come from my head to my fingertips. I can feel progress and satisfaction. Yes. It is going to be a wonderful weekend.

In the mean time, I warned My Youngest that this is going to be a boring-stay-at-home weekend for him. We went out tonight and found a steal of a deal on the DVD series he started watching; we got some easy-to-fend-for-himself food; some snacks; and I promised him a movie night (or afternoon or whenever it works) before the weekend is through. We found a movie we hadn't seen (on sale for $10.00 and you can send in for $10.00 movie-money ... so basically, we got it for free, right?) and armed ourselves with some movie-snacks. And we have a date.

And dancing tonight!! I love it, I love it, I love it!!! I am so happy I have returned to the dance floor. It makes my heart soar. My Instructor makes me laugh and pumps up my self esteem. It's an excellent investment in myself, I think...

My heart is just so happy. Two days off! A night at the dance studio!! Visions of a productive weekend ..... it's going to be great.

Tomorrow - I am getting busy. Tonight - I am just going to savor the feelings of the moment.

Happiness. Ain't it grand??

It's Been a Bad Week All Around

It's funny. I was walking around in my own little world, worrying about my petty little worries. I wasted a good part of this week doing so. And as I finally resurfaced from the spot I had been in, I started talking to other people. What I found out, is that they had been going through troubles of their own. It seemed there was something in the air this week for some of the people in my life.

It made me think of a story that a very wise friend once told me .... (I hope it doesn't lose something in the retelling. I was told this tale about 20 years ago so I'm afraid I'll have to make up the details that I am missing).

Three people who were each dealing with very stressful problems (at the time I was told this story the 3 of us sitting at the table were dealing with cancer, a child with serious health issues and the after effects of an abusive marriage), once went to a very wise man and asked for him to take their problems away. The wise man agreed and each of them were immediately rid of their problems. But what they got in exchange was one of the other problems the other people were living with. After a short time, these same three people returned to the wise man and asked for their original problems back.

No matter what we are dealing with in life, no matter how unsurmountable it feels to us at the time ... is something we are capable of handling. I've heard it said many times that 'you are never given more than you can bear'. Many people have had to bear burdens that would break the best of us, but they do overcome and grow stronger.

As I looked at the table with people who had problems much bigger than my own (or so it seemed from my perspective), I realized how fortunate I really was.

And this week has been much the same (on a much smaller scale). It's all about perspective sometimes...

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Life's Balancing Act

Boy, I was sure teetering on this balance beam called 'life' the past few days. I let one little thing throw me for a loop. I was berating myself, telling myself to get a grip and let it go. I have no idea why I held on to the negativatity. But I did. And it almost knocked me off the 'beam' of life temporarily.

Life is all about balance. And when all the areas (work, love, family, friends, spiritual, time for ones self, etc) are all in good working order, lifes little glitches are just a blip. When one of the above (or more) is not in good working order everything else is a tad off kilter.

I can tell when I need to tend some portion of my life. There are usually subtle warning signs and as a rule I heed them. I don't know why I was so out of kilter lately, but I'm grateful that I'm 'fixed' again.

No more teetering. I'm balanced and ready to head forward again.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Back in Perspective

My little prayer must have worked this morning. I'm feeling a little wiser. And a lot more serene.

It never fails that doing something productive is a sure fire way to get a person out of a slump. I started puttering around with the photo album section of 'The Book' late this afternoon. And, providing everything I did works out once it hits the press, I think that portion of the book is done! Complete! Finished!!

And I've pretty much figured out what I need to know to get at the writing portion. I am actually ready to start on 'Chapter 3' (though much editing is already required - I just needed to get some words down to get me motivated).

Okay!! I think I am back. I was a little lost for a while, but I am found. Whew!!

The Serenity Prayer

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference"

This prayer has been rising to the surface of my consciousness this morning.

I seem to be in a place where I need to 'know the difference'. The state in between courage and accepting is a very draining place to be.

So I guess I'll pray for wisdom.

Monday, March 3, 2008

My Exercise Buddy

On weekdays, it seems too hard to get up and exercise at 5:30 a.m. So, I have been exercising in the evenings instead. My Youngest is a real little trooper and has kept me company the past few evenings. Even during the weekend when I had already exercised before he got up, he exercised on his own. He has pretty good stamina, considering this is a 4 day habit for him. Kids tend to sit idle a lot these days, so if exercising together keeps both of us moving I'd say that is a good thing!

My Youngest's suggestion that we eat healthier and cut down on snacks was also a good idea. Unfortunately we both kind of fell off that bandwagon rather quickly. My Son lasted one more day than I did.

It was a quiet day. I like Mondays like that. Things will pick up around here tomorrow and I'll have a few more kids. Nothing too much, but it will be a little busier and a little noisier. I haven't really been a very effective child care provider lately. My mind has been in so many places, I do what I must do but I can't say that I do it all that well. That shall be my goal for the rest of the week (and onward). This time of year, I think we are all itching for warm weather and sunshine (and the snow to melt). It won't be long now ....

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Spinning in Circles

It was simply that kind of day ...

I started with the best of intentions. I didn't sit idle. Nor did I really accomplish much. Troubleshooting seems to be the second theme of 2008 for me. But the main goal of 2008 is pushing myself out of my comfort zone and following through on my ideas.

I am still focusing on my main goal. The troubleshooting is taxing my resources but it is not overtaking them.

I have more questions than answers today. And after a day like this, I normally wake up with a fresh perspective on things in the morning. That, I am counting on.

In the mean time, I took time to spend some time with My Youngest this afternoon. We both needed that.

Now ... to put my brain to rest. It's tired tonight.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Up With the Birds

I love the early morning hours. I love waking up with a spring in my step and happy thoughts wafting through my mind. I love waking up with energy and enthusiasm. I love mornings like this.

What a wonderful way to start the day. My body and mind must be all rested up because I'm raring to go again.

I remember a friend telling me once (as she had found an enthusiasm for life that I simply couldn't imagine at the time), that there were simply not enough hours in the day for her to do everything she wanted to do. I have 'arrived'. I am where she was. The days are too short for me to fit in everything I want (not need!) to do.

I love it!