Friday, February 29, 2008

Ready For a Weekend

Only 6 more working hours until my weekend begins. I have cleared the slate from errands and any must-do items. So the hours that are left over from 3:15 Saturday afternoon until 7 am on Monday are mine, to do as I please.

And dancing was once again very pleasing tonight. I love ending my week on the dance floor. One of these years, I'll find a way to spend more time there. Tonight I was thinking about the eventuality of getting back to the group classes. A little more time and I'll get back to those as well. It just added a little extra pleasure to the whole experience to be around and get to know others from the studio. The day will come again.

I have officially caught up on the exercising that I missed in the early a.m. hours of the day. My Youngest even joined me tonight and by the sounds of it, he may do it again (I'm actually kind of curious to see how he keeps up with the cardio). And he's even talking about both of us eating healthier and less snacking. Wow. This is all good. Maybe I found an exercise-buddy and a positive-thinking coach right under my own roof!

This evening has slipped away on me. I'm so looking forward to the weekend!! The one small pile that I have on the table isn't overwhelming. I can't wait to get at it. Tomorrow.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Down to One Pile

I have quite literally had things 'piling' up on me.

I have been putting my outstanding projects in piles, so that I know where I stand with each little thing I have on the go. Notes to myself. My little piles of paper and paper work, pictures and albums. It seems that I've had about 3 piles on the go at all times for the past week. And I'm down to one.

Phone calls have been made; emails are caught up; letters have been written and sent; outstanding 'problems' have been solved; and even my income tax is done and ready to mail.

The real boon is that I exercised for over an hour last night and kind of caught myself up from the mornings I had missed. I think I'll do the same tonight - it felt good to get physical last night after my brain work-outs of late.

I may have figured out the insatiable appetite lately as well. I have been cramming lunch and supper into my day like they are just another chore on the endless to-do-list-in-my-mind. I'll eat on the run, squeeze it in while the kids are here, so that the minute the kids are gone for the day 'the evening is mine'. Last night I waited for the last person to leave. I took my supper and sat down with it. I savored every morsel and revelled in the peace and quiet in the house ... and I was satisfied. Completely. I knew that the void I was filling had nothing to do with hunger. I also knew that I wasn't depressed or lonely or 'empty' in any capacity. None of the normal triggers to my binge eating were happening. But I think I found the 'void' that needs to be filled ... quiet time for myself.

It feels great to have just one small pile looking at me. It is the same small pile of ideas and a notepad that I've had around since I started compiling ideas and information for 'The Book'.

One small little pile. Exercise in the evening. Sitting down to eat supper. This equals contentment and 'fills me up'.

Testing 123

I don't know if my computer troubles are over or not. My computer doctor tells me I have no problem (it's other peoples problems). I think he is in denial! If I am the common denominator to all these strange messages attached to my emails in other peoples inboxes (despite their internet providers), and I'm not getting any odd messages ... how could this be other peoples fault?

But isn't that the mind set of many? It's 'the other guys fault' ... 'blame someone else' ... 'it couldn't be me'.

I am all too willing to accept blame where it is due. I won't take all of the blame all of the time. But I'm willing to own up to my part of a problem.

It isn't just emails and computers. It's life.

And so begins another day ...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Idling

I need to idle a moment before I take my next deep breath and carry on.

This ambition/overload/idle cycle seems to be somewhat predictable. My brain won't stop even in the idling mode so I should be able to hit the ground running when the ambition mode hits again.

Exercising. I managed to do it religiously for 16 mornings in a row. Despite what I had going on in my life, I was dedicated to getting back in the habit.

Then I noticed my appetite. I am shovelling food into my already full stomach. Why? I think the stress levels have a little to do with it. But I'm wondering more about the exhaustion levels? I wonder if losing that hour of sleep in the morning to get up and exercise is messing with my food intake. So ... I didn't exercise the last two mornings. That doesn't mean that I can't get right back at it tomorrow ... but my positive 'self talk' isn't sounding too positive about this exercise thing. Not if it means doubling what I eat!

I'm sitting here staring at the computer screen ... idling ... and wondering if I should make myself some popcorn or not.

Idling ....

Monday, February 25, 2008

Wish Granted

I didn't quite get 'a second Sunday' as I wrote about yesterday ... but I sat down this morning and thought I have to do something about this overload situation I'm in. So I emailed my supervisor at work before I did anything else and asked for the first available Saturday off. And I got it! A perfect Saturday because I can't foresee using it for some of the upcoming things I know about. Two days off in a row. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.................

I've downloaded my 'Vintage Family Album' as a slideshow for the blog this morning. I had to demonstrate just what has been overloading my days ... as I downloaded and organized the 213 photos that I have amassed. I have scanned and labeled all of them with the correct 'dpi's for 'The Book'; have printed, labelled and organized the 'hard' copies of almost all of them. I think I am ready to return the last photo albums to their rightful owners. And then .... I can get on with the business of actually writing something!! The photos I accumulated took on a life of their own. And now I think it is time to put them to rest.

My next project is to send off some letters to my aunts, requesting information for 'their chapter' in the book. While I'm waiting for the responses to that, I hope to start putting the rest of the 'story' together in a conversational tone. I glanced at the 25+ pages of information I have typed up so far and my knees went week. I am wondering how in the world I can tackle all of this. One chapter at a time. I'll start at the beginning ...

My 'sick' computer remains intermittently ill. I called my 'Computer Doctor' this morning and he said it sounds like it has got a bug and he is coming by Wednesday morning to make his house call. It will be so good to get this problem looked at by a professional. I called all the technical help people I could find, and tried everything they suggested. But it only cleans it up for a short period and then I'm back to receiving the odd messages again.

My Ebay transaction that went awry is just about fixed up. When I finally got ahold of the seller, he was more than willing to refund my money as soon as I mailed it (the Microsoft Works program that was not only not what I had ordered, but it didn't even work) back to him. I believe that is days away from 'money in the bank'. Then I can go shopping in a real store to buy the Microsoft Word program I need. And I'll be up and running ... and ready to write!!!

A fresh new week ... already the week has started off 100% better than last week. My babysitting families are not throwing me any curve balls. In fact one family called me and we have figured out a way to keep me 'in the know' for the next time their schedule goes crazy. I think the week was pretty topsy turvy for a lot of people in 'my world' last week. We've addressed the problem and we all know where we stand again.

Life is good.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Could I Please Have Just One More Sunday?

The day passed in a blur. I decided to allow myself to sleep in until 8:00 this morning. I'm sure my body needed the rest. But boy, could I have used that extra 1 1/2 hours, now that I must wind myself down for the night.

Another day immersed with 'The Book'. I seem to get myself deeper into this every day. I just scanned over the rough draft of information that I have accumulated and it's a little bit scary. How to put this all together .... it is really no wonder that they label movies 'Based on a true story'! There are a lot of small details that are missing and to make the story flow freely, it would be tempting to add a little fiction. Just to put it all together.

If only I could just have one more Sunday .... I may actually catch myself up to where I want to be.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Here We Go Again...

I wrote and vented a little in my blog last night, thinking that it was time to walk away from it all and just give my projects a rest ....

Then I started puttering. Well. I certainly know how to make my life difficult at times! I had been taking all the photos (that I've been accumulating from my aunts) I wanted copied to Walmart and going through the scanning process, one picture at a time. Then when I had an entire album that was glued in, I scanned the entire page and printed off 8" X 10" copies; came home; cut them out and then labelled them. Omigosh. The time and money that I have invested (personally, I believe it is worth it though)! But last night after my 'System Overload' rant, I realized that I could scan my photos (at home); then order them online; and simply go and pick them up!! Why didn't I realize this before??? It was my phone call to the publishing company that spurred me into scanning my photos yesterday and the wheels started turning. There is definately a learning curve happening here. Next time will be much easier!!

So I am energized once more. To know that I don't have to invest 2 hours Sunday morning in the Walmart photo centre makes me so happy I could dance!

And dance I shall. I have ideas of how to best utilize the bedroom we are redoing downstairs so that not only will I have a guest room that will be delightful for my guests ... but I can have my 'dance floor' back (in the playroom downstairs). I have homework this week for dancing. Just some simple little things that I could practise so much better if there wasn't so much furniture in the play room.

The thoughts are once again flowing freely and happily. I am reinspired once again. I really need to take one project and work it through to the end. I have sooooooo many ideas swirling around in my head right now. But to do them justice I really must sit back and think a bit, before I dive into anything (else) head first right now.

The book. Stay focused on 'The Book'. I still picture it in my mind. The questions I still have are unending. The ideas are still forthcoming. So much for the goal to 'write a novel in a month'. Once I've gathered all the information and pictures, I think the actual writing will be a delight. At this point I sort of feel like I'm gathering facts for a school project. This part involves work, time and some dedication to the end result. The next phase ... writing ... shall be fun. This I am sure.

So I am off and running once again. The waves of energy amaze me. There seems to be no such thing as having my feet kicked out from under me and stopping me cold. I guess the overload periods are there for a purpose. Time to let things in my life and brain idle for a moment, so I can come back at it with a fresh outlook.

And now I must get ready for my day at work. Leaving my house to go to work feels like such an inconvenience at times. I love that I can earn the majority of my living right under my own roof (and next week, I vow to do a better job tending my children ... this week was not one I am proud of ... the 'system overload' thing was creeping into my days far too much).

'System Reloaded' and ready to go!!

Friday, February 22, 2008

System Overload!

I have reached my capacity. 'No more new information' please.

I'm at the point with ''The Book'' now, where I want to start formatting the layout. So as I piece together my story, it will be where and as it needs to be. I know nothing (very, very little) about 'Microsoft Word' so it is taking longer than it should just to do the simplest of things. Setting up margins/gutters/mirroring .... yikes!!

So this morning, I called the publishing website that I have been checking into and got some answers to the questions I have thus far. I was on the right track but it was good to clarify it with someone before I go full speed ahead.

My head is consumed with this book and on top of that, my babysitting week has been topsy turvy. Out of the 9 families that I babysat for this week, only 4 of them came as scheduled; 3 of them were no shows or would show up unexpectedly (10 minutes before lunch to make things more confusing); and 2 had some changes to their schedule (but they kindly let me know in advance which I sure appreciate). With kids out of school, it just made for a very chaotic place in my mind. I organize my day, menus, activities and my mind according to who is going to be here. So I wasn't going with the flow too well when 4 out of 4 days had 2 or more families throwing me curve balls.

I did tell the 'offending parents' that I do need to know what is going on ... so I've done what I can. I'm so grateful for the majority of parents that keep me posted.

So I was more than ready to lock the door after the last child left and chalk this week up to 'experience'. Pure and utter relief to put it all behind me.

And to end off the week with my dance lesson was exactly what I needed. My head was filled with dance stuff for the full half hour and forgot the frustrations of the week.

Now I'm just brain weary. But I need to get somewhere with some of the projects I've got started here! I was hoping for a Sunday to simply lay back and 'recharge'. But I don't think that is going to happen. But maybe at least I can tie up the loose ends with the pictures that I'm accumulating. My aunt dropped off 3 albums and I am so overwhelmed I could cry. I know what I want, but the photos are glued in so it is no easy process to get what I see right in front of me.

System Overload.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Stuck in the Past

I don't seem to have a lot of words to write at the end of the day lately. I've immersed myself in family history, stories, photos and visiting. It's fun. But I'm tuckering out.

I'm gaining ground on this book project. But I do have the feeling that once I sit down and start writing my own words, I'll have a lot more questions. One step at a time ...

The kids have been out of school this week and it was scheduled to be a very busy, noisy and hectic week. But ... I've had a lot of no-shows and cancellations, so the days have been a little quieter than I expected.

I haven't been much of a mom these past few weeks. Kurt doesn't demand a lot from me, but last night he begged for me to read him a book. I think it is more that he needs me to sit down with him for a few minutes at the end of the day, than the actual reading of the story.

That said, I think I'm going to shelve the ''book work'' for the evening and head off to spend a little time with him tonight. It's been far too long since we had a lazy evening together.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Energy Levels Are High!

It must be the exercising. I am waking up with energy these days!! In my vacation from exercise, I got up and was rather groggy and lethargic until I got the momentum of the day going. But these days ... even on the days when I thought I could give myself a morning off from the exercise schedule ... I think "Why? It makes me feel good!".

I'm glad I'm back on the road to a more energetic me.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

If You Can't Be a Highway Be a Trail

As I have spent the past 2 days sifting through the conversations of my weekend with Mom, I find myself searching the internet for the many verses amd songs that she has quoted throughout the days...

I like this one in particular ...

If you can't be a highway be a trail,
If you can't be the sun be a star.
It isn't by size that you win or you fail.
Be the best of whatever you are.

My mind is spent tonight, as I completed compiling the information I gathered from the weekend so I think I shall leave my thoughts to someone else ...

Mom has a poem, a song, a hymn for every occasion. Some people can say things so eloquently it is best left alone. It is no wonder she finds the right poem for the occasion so often. My memory isn't as keen as hers ... I guess that is why I have to write my own words?

Monday, February 18, 2008

A Full Agenda

This weekend has gone by in a blur ... from dancing, to errands, to Mom's arrival, our 'road trips' to 2 of her sisters, and gathering up stories and history for 'The Book' anywhere I could find it ...

Mom left around 11:30 this morning and I have been trying to compile my stories from my taped conversations for most of the hours since then. It's been a very full weekend.

I have gone from excited ... to overwhelmed ... to revived ...to exhausted ... to rejuvinated ... to just trying to catch up to the moment. I am getting encouragement at every turn, so just when I start to question what I've gotten myself into, I get pumped up again. I am looking forward to starting to sort through the facts and stories that I have, to see exactly what I've got. And find the direction I am going ...

I was so exhausted last night, I was nodding off during my conversation with Mom. Finally I just had to tell her that I just had to go to bed. I slept like a rock (I have no memory of waking up, even to roll over) and was raring to go at 6:30 this morning. A fresh day, new questions, another look at where this 'book' is going.

I even managed to exercise each morning all weekend. I was going to allow myself this morning off, but I was so revved up and energized that I actually wanted to move! Imagine that! Physical activity is somewhat addictive. There are some good endorphins or something that are released when you are moving. I knew this ... but I had conveniently 'forgotten'.

A new week is dawning. I wish I could literally 'close the chapter' on this weekend. But I have at least 3 more hours of conversations to syphon through. I should have been more selective and turned the recorder off and on, but I didn't want to draw attention to the recorder so the conversation would flow more naturally. So I have quite literally had a play-by-play repeat of about 9 hours and 45 minutes of the past 3 days ...

I have a fairly full agenda this week, as well. With no school, I have a different kind of schedule with the kids. I am very fortunate that Kurt has started helping out and playing with the younger kids a lot. They absolutely love it and it really breaks up the day for all of us.

I have completely enjoyed the weekend ... but ... I am grateful that isn't my normal pace of life. I do enjoy my regularly scheduled life and I am looking forward to its speedy return.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

7 Days!!

I have made 7 consecutive days of exercising!! Getting up at 5:30 is tough. To have a little time to breathe before the kids come, I should get up at 5:00. But for now, 5:30 is the goal.

The best thing is that the only stiff muscles I had, were from the push ups after the first day or two. My heart is pumping and my muscles are tired after a lot of these exercises so they must be doing something good.

Keeping this body healthy and strong is my goal.

And ... it's Friday!! Dance night. Yay!!!! Once again, my dance instructor just knows what to say to keep me excited and enthused about dancing. I feel like I'm awaiting my next lesson with the same anticipation as watching a cliff hanger on a TV series. I wonder where things are going to go from here?? I can't wait to find out.

And it is a long weekend. We have a busy agenda ahead of us. Mom arrived tonight and we are headed off to her sisters homes for the next two afternoons. I have been so sidetracked with all of the other various projects going on in my mind, that 'The Book' has taken a back seat. I'm looking forward to jumping back into this with both feet and running with it. I have a feeling this weekend will provide me with lots of stories and ideas as to how to present all of this.

But for now, exhaustion has been hitting me in waves off and on for the past 3 hours. So it is time to heed my body's wishes.

3 days off! I am so excited!!!! This new long weekend in February makes my year.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Christmas in February!!

Not only is it lightly snowing outside, creating a picture perfect winter setting (and more shovelling ... yay ...), but I heard from another friend from my past today!!

I have been trying to think the positive affirmations that 'The Secret' talks about. So when I thought of what could possibly be in todays mail, I first thought that my mail has been so good and interesting all week (not only did I hear from an old friend on Tuesday, but I got a card from another friend and 'history stories/info' from Mom yesterday) that I couldn't possibly expect anything more. Then I caught myself and thought "Yes I can. 'The Secret' tells me to think about what you do want, picture it, believe it". So I did. And can you imagine my wonder and surprise when the mail held more good tidings.

I believe!!!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Things Are Not Always as They Seem

How many times is a person completely taken aback when what appears to be a model marriage doesn't make it? How many times do you realize yourself, that 'no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors'? ....

I received a 12 page letter from an old friend yesterday. There had been some hints that things weren't going so perfectly the last few times she had written. But I wasn't prepared for what I read.

My heart sank as I read her words. She is a person totally dedicated to her marriage and family. She has put her family first and invested almost 25 years in a marriage that she was determined ''not going to end up like just another statistic''.

She is my age and looking at a future that she didn't plan on. She has been a full time mom and dabbled in part time work (that is increasing in hours as her kids get older). Her career was her family. And now here she is, wondering how she can support herself...

It is impossible to live your life planning on all the 'what ifs' that life can throw at you. I truly believe that investing your time and energy on your children is a win-win situation. But ... what if ... after 25 years, you are suddenly facing a whole new world?

It amazes me how things do tend to work out. Even when one is dealt the harshest blows, after all is said and done you usually end up in a much better place than where you started. In my experience, the harder the fall, the better the (eventual) outcome. Impossible to believe at the time, when 'life as you know it' is taking a 180 degree turn.

Having a family that believes in you and supports you is not something everyone has. But if you have it ... cherish and nurture it! Friends. At a time when your 'world' is upside down, a friend at your side to lend an ear or a hand or whatever 'limb' is needed, is a blessing. Hold on tight to your friends!

I believe my friend will be okay after she gets through the immediate future. She is emotionally beaten to the ground, but despite that, I hear her voice coming through. She believes in herself. She knows that she deserves to be treated with respect. She will be okay.

Don't ever be afraid to reach out to a friend. Not so long ago I was the one who took that daring risk of baring my heart and soul to my friends. This time, it is a friend from my past that is reaching out to me. And I am here. It has been decades since we sat down and visited, but thankfully we still keep in touch. In fact her letter to me started with "Thank you for writing to me. I was hoping you wouldn't give up on me...".

I often wonder about the letters I write, to friends I don't hear from any more. I wonder if they have moved on and really don't care anymore? But the opening sentences in my friends letter yesterday told me that there is a reason that I continue to hold onto those friends of my past.

Friends are forever ....

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Living My Life

I have often commented to the people in my life that don't have the time or inclination to sit and respond to an email or send off letters or whatever ... that I actually rather envy them. They are living their lives instead of sitting down and writing about it.

And so it is for me lately. My mind and body and agenda in my days has filled me up. There are often few words left in me at the end of the day.

I started this blog when I had time on my hands. I had ideas in my head but I hadn't started acting on them. It is amazing though, how writing ideas down made it a reality that I knew that I had to act on.

Now that I'm acting on a lot of these ideas, I feel so full. I've taken some risks ... I've called and emailed people as soon as I have the idea to do so. It may be a better idea to let some things breathe for a moment before you hit ''send'' with an email!! There have been a handful of times, that I have emailed someone asking them something. Then within the half hour I have to email them back to tell them 'ignore the previous email ... I just remembered ...'.

I am not regretting the ways that I am putting myself back out there. I have to hone the impulsiveness a little, but there are times that if you don't act on something right away, you can find a million reasons to put it off. So I've been leaning towards acting first and thinking later.

I am actually living my life these days. And it feels very, very good to be 'back in the land of the living'.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Gone Phishing

You can imagine my panic when I tried signing into my blog last night and my antivirus program halted me with an alarming red box, stating that my site was blocked due to a ''phishing attempt" (trying to collect credit card information, PIN numbers, etc). After all the strange things my computer has been doing lately I thought this was the final straw. But thankfully I found a 'blog forum' with several other bloggers encountering the exact same problem and it appeared to be a glitch in the antivirus program ... and it was not just my blog site. Whew!!

Troubleshooting, investigating, calling for help, trying different solutions ... Since the new year, I seem to be overwhelmed with these tasks. My brain is getting a lot of exercise as I try and solve each puzzle I encounter in this world of video cameras/blogs/slideshows/video editing/and more. I seem to be up to my neck in new projects and each seems to involve something I've never done before. This must be a good thing ... this old dog is learning some new tricks!

And since my brain is getting a good work out, I thought it was time my body joined in on the fun. I have exercised 2 days in a row and I've got my mind set to get back into the early morning exercise habit. I'm working to get my 'real age' to a lower number!! By keeping my mind and body fit, and feeding my mind and body what it needs (in nourishment and in knowledge) I should become a happier, healthier and more vital being. Or else just tired!

Yes, this mental and physical work out plan is equalling a very good nights sleep lately. And proper sleep habits are yet another thing to keep one 'younger'.

Speaking of that, I think that is where I am now headed. My earlier wake up time (to exercise) will come soon enough.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Winter

Winter can be such a long, depressing (not to mention cold!) season. It seems like a season that can really play havoc with a persons mental well being. I have had winters that have me aching for a warm day and a sunbeam to soak up by the time March rolls around .... but this is not one of those.

I feel like I'm taking advantage of these months where a person is holed up inside. In fact, I'm afraid that I may not accomplish all I want to, before the warm sunny days are beckoning me outside. Imagine that!!

Having a goal, and interests that are keeping my mind busy and happy has been wonderful. My brain feels like it has been exercising and is enjoying the work out.

This week, Oprah had a show that was focusing a bit on a person's 'Real Age'. There was a lady on it that was 60, but the vibrancy and youth that oozed out of her being made her appear decades younger. The common denominator that spoke to me about these people who appeared so much younger than they actually were, was having something that they felt passionate about in their life. Writing, reading and ballroom dancing were among a few things that were mentioned. And it simply excited me. I am on the right track. I am following my heart and immersing myself in what I feel passionate about. And not only has it made the winter fly by ... but it may help 'drop a few years' off of my Real Age.

I took the test to find out my Real Age and it was only about 4 years younger than my actual age. So I am on a mission to increase that number. I have a plan. I started some 'stretch' exercises last night and worked on 'strength training' this morning. I have an exercise DVD from the Dancing With the Stars pros and I am going to concentrate on the Samba portion of that for now. I am going to work at keeping my mind and body feeling younger than their actual age.

And the next thing you know, it will be spring and we'll be soaking up the sunshine!!!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Yikes!! What Happened to Coasting??

Well, I seem to be diving head first into one more project ... redoing a bedroom downstairs.

It all started with one innocent thought ... we should just start ... and now the wheels are in motion. Once started, the job must be completed. Thankfully we aren't in any rush but that doesn't normally stop me once I have got things going. I mentioned the idea of going ahead with this to my Second Son this morning and by tonight he had a hitch installed on his truck (so he could tow a trailer for the garbage) and he started ripping things apart. He doesn't let any moss grow under his feet!! I kind of like that.

I'm puttering around with a new editing program after my free trial ended on my first one. So I spent hours at that tonight. If I could combine what I like about the first program with what I like about the second one, it would be ideal. But in the meantime, I have wasted a lot of time trying out things that didn't quite work out as planned. Oh well, best to make these mistakes when I'm not pressured for time. I have lots of ideas for this once I get it figured out, but no deadlines in the near future.

And so I near the end of the longest week in recent history! Last weekend went by in such a blur, I'm in need of a relatively lazy day off. I am looking forward to Sunday.

And as I sign off here in the wee hours of the morning, there goes my resolution to start some stretching exercises tonight and get up a half hour earlier tomorrow to start back in the exercise habit. Tomorrow ......

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Coasting

I don't seem to have a lot of excess anything this week. I am in 'coast' mode ...

I don't seem to have my focus narrowed in on any one particular topic right now. I'm thinking on things but not acting.

One thing I seem to be stuck on, is knowing that I should get back to exercising. 'Oprah' is telling me, Mom is subtly encouraging me, everything you hear these days focuses upon how important exercise is, and I know this. The one thing that is stopping me is that extra hour I get to sleep if I don't exercise. My body prefers getting up at 6 am. 5 am is just too early. The key for exercising for me was doing it before my day began. Once the day begins and gets going, it is hard to squeeze it in. If you hop out of bed and exercise immediately, it gives you a jump start to the day and it is one of those 'impossible things' that is done and over with.

I exercised religiously every morning for a few years. And I felt so good about it. I need to push myself back to that place! I could use that hour of exercising to let my thoughts flow and hopefully inspire the words that I want to write, to the surface.

And now that I have written those words, I shall go through my exercise tapes and DVD's and find a way to ease myself back into a healthier lifestyle. I need to focus on action (not just thinking!).

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Back on Track

Wow! My body didn't feel tired but man oh man, was my brain overloaded!! Yesterday morning I looked at the ripe bananas sitting on my kitchen counter and could have cried ... yet another thing on the long to-do-list in my brain.

But ... I kept puttering away at my list of 'Impossible Things' ... and I'm back down to a manageable level once again.

I seem to require order in my life and in my mind to carry on. This is good to a point and creates a feeling of fulfillment when all is caught up. But when things pile up on me, it feels so overwhelming.

I knew that when I took on this 'book' project, it would take a lot of time. I think once I actually get moving forward and beyond the information-gathering phase it will become fun (and it actually is a lot of fun right now). Right now I just have too many directions my mind is going. I'm collecting more pictures and miscellaneous stuff than I can use immediately so I have future projects "B" and "C" in mind. Too much information!!!!

In the meantime, I was disappointed in myself because I didn't create a 'quiet place in my mind' to fully appreciate my company on Sunday. The visit was still wonderful but I felt that the chaos in my mind was evident to my guests and that wasn't the aura I wanted to create.

The housekeeping of my mind continues and I should putter away at a few more things before the lunch-time busyness sets in.

This afternoon, I am meeting a potential new family to babysit and I feel that my mind is in a good place for that. I feel like I can 'sell myself' (whereas yesterday, I'm sure I was in a sell-myself-short kind of mode).

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Out of Words

I think my brain has overloaded its circuits. I am out of words. I'm sure they will return tomorrow.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

A Labor of Love

I spent the evening in the kitchen preparing for company tomorrow. I sang, I sliced and diced, I sang, I chopped and pared, I sang, I mixed and whipped, I danced a little ... baked a little ... just had fun!!! If I can slice and dice this video together, I'll pass along my edition of 'Fun in the Kitchen'.

The thoughts of a fun visit tomorrow has truly made this a labor of love.

(I did turn off the video before I started practising a few dances ... cha cha, samba, mambo ... Oh what fun I have in the privacy of my kitchen!!).


video

Friday, February 1, 2008

A Perfect End to a Week!

Dance night!! What a perfect day to have a dance lesson. I am so very, very glad that I have returned. I had planned on being a lot more devoted to dancing and practicing and 'thinking dancing' between lessons ... but I seem to have taken on a bit of a 'life' that has me distracted throughout the week. But I am so glad that I have this lesson to look forward to on Fridays.

As usual, I simply can't say enough about my dance instructor. He makes me feel like I can dance and I'm so excited that when I seem to be able accomplish something. He enhances my self esteem like no one else does .... It is simply enjoyable. And I am relaxed enough to learn a little along the way.

Yes!!! I want to dance .....

Technical Difficulties

I ran into a 'bump in the road' yesterday. A computer program that I ordered through Ebay arrived. Not what I ordered. Used (I ordered a new program). No instructions. And the one part of the program that I needed to work was deleted or missing or corrupted. It put a kink in my day that somehow I didn't recover from ...

Life's frustrations. We are faced with them every day yet sometimes they throw you. And other times you rise above.

The fact that I let it get to me, put a negative spin on the rest of the day. The kids were noisy, the dynamics between a few were frustrating, one parent was 15 minutes late; another was
1 and a 1/2 hours late. It was one of those days.

Today is a new one. And I'm certain it will be better. I must go and shovel snow this morning, when I'd rather be sitting here drinking a second cup of coffee and playing around with my writing projects. Oh well ... I'll see what inspirations and words come to me as I get outside and surrounded by Mother Natures latest creation....